Hi merup,
There is no way to know this with any certainty without a reference point of latex layers you have personally tested and your specific feedback on how they felt and performed for you (or your wife). The cover and/or quilting can also have a significant effect on the feel and performance of the latex layers inside the mattress. I should also mention that a 24 or 28 ILD transition layer is not generally considered to be firm at all (closer to soft or medium soft)
All the layers of a mattress actually compress simultaneously not sequentially and they will each compress to different percentages of their thickness depending on their position on the mattress, the firmness of each layer, the compression modulus of the material, the thickness of each layer, and the compression force that they are exposed to (which depends on the weight of the part of the body in contact with the mattress and the surface area that is bearing that weight which is constantly changing as you sink into the mattress more or change sleep positions).
While “going through” a layer is commonly used as a way to explain things because there is a different amount of force that “goes through” a layer and compresses the next layer of the mattress depending on the hysteresis of the material (how much energy it absorbs) and on how point elastic the material is (how much compression affects or is affected by the surrounding areas of the layer) … it would be just as accurate to say that you will “feel through” the top layer meaning that you will feel the properties of the next layer down to different degrees. Even the softest latex won’t “bottom out” (meaning it has no more ability to compress because the walls of the cell structure are fully compressed on top of each other) if it is on top of another foam layer and will have the ability to compress more yet even though very soft latex will compress to a much larger percentage of its thickness than a firmer layer. Every layer of a mattress affects and is affected by every other layer in the mattress to different degrees.
The compression of each layer (mainly controlled by thickness, firmness, compression modulus, hysteresis, and position along with a few other specs) are what creates the pressure relieving cradle of a mattress in the top layers which re-distributes weight and pressure on the bony prominences and pressure points of the body while the resistance to further compression of the deeper layers is what “stops” the heavier parts of the body from sinking down too far and putting the spine and joints out of their natural alignment. The balance between the opposing needs of pressure relief and spinal alignment is the main factor behind all mattress design and theory and why different mattresses match the body types and sleeping positions and preferences of different people … or don’t.
Without personal testing and going through the learning curve of becoming familiar enough with different types of materials and layering and how they work in combination with each other to predict how a certain layering may work for you … you would be much better off simply going with the suggestions of a knowledgeable retailer or manufacturer who is familiar with how the different options they offer fits the “averages” of people who may be similar to you.
There is no formula that can predict with any certainty what type of layering you may do best with that can possibly be more accurate than your own personal experience and without this the next best way to decide on the design of a mattress is to use the “averages” of a manufacturer for people of your weight range, body type, sleeping style, and personal preferences. These “averages” may vary from manufacturer to manufacturer depending on the specific designs and options that they have available (including all the components such as the cover or quilting layers which can also have a significant effect on how the mattress feels and performs not just the latex or foam layers).
So I could say that for your wife a “typical” layering would be “in the area” of soft / medium / firm in a 3 layer mattress with each layer being 3" or soft over medium firm with a 6" + 3" construction while for you a typical layering would be medium / firm / extra firm or perhaps even medium firm over extra firm in a 6 + 3 construction. With a 12" mattress … the firmness would go up on average because thicker mattresses will “act” softer for most people. If you make changes to one of the specs (such as the layer thickness of the top layer) … then you may also need to make other changes to the other layers to compensate.
All of this is just to give you a sense that your questions may be much more complex and have many more variables and uncertainties involved than you may realize and the certainty you are looking for may only come with personal experience. As I mentioned in my last reply it may be much less frustrating and involve a much shorter learning curve to work with a manufacturer or retailer that already knows what you would otherwise have to learn and also offers pre-designed mattresses with options that they can match to different people with higher odds of success and have the ability to either re-arrange layers, exchange layers, or even refund the mattress if you make mistakes in your layering choices or if “averages” don’t work for you as well as you hoped.
If you do decide to do all of this on your own or want to design a mattress based on specs (and ILD is not the only spec that will make a significant difference) you would need to do some personal testing on layer combinations of different types, thicknesses, and firmness levels of latex and evaluate your experiences with each of them and the specifics of the layers you have tried (if they are available) for anyone else to have any meaningful input into what you may want to change compared to what you have tested.
The reality is that if you hope to save money by designing your own mattress by specs and buying each layer and component separately, then you will need to trade your time, go through the learning curve, and gain the experience and personal insights into your specific needs and preferences from personal testing to improve your odds of success. If this is worth it to you then it can be a great experience and very satisfying but it’s important to keep your expectations realistic IMO and to realize that there are no shortcuts if you plan to do all of this on your own outside of the guidance of a manufacturer or retailer who has already done most of the work and learning and gained the experience that you would otherwise need to do for yourself … especially when your circumstances and the difference in your individual needs and preferences are likely to be more challenging than the norm.
Phoenix