Looking for mattress material recommendations/feedback

[danielle_schuster]

Hello! I have just finished all the reading for every categories overviews and in depth as well as some of the articles about some other topics like finding the best retailer as well as some previous posts to this extent. I am interested in checking out @thecharlestonmattress as I am local to this area. However, I first wanted to get some feedback due to all the considerations I feel like I am having to think about with this search. To start, I am female 5’4 ~138 lbs and my partner is male 6’0 ~205 lbs. I sleep very cool because I have autonomic and cannot regulate temperature well especially in my extremities. I have been called a heat vampire by my partner because I chase him across our bed at night for warmth despite sleeping with sheet, quilt, and two blankets. My partner runs hot. He prefers a cooler sleeping environment and has our thermostat set to be colder at night with the fan on, and he never needs an extra blanket. I am having difficulty trying to find a way to marry these two preferences. I know that certain materials run cooler like springs and latex over memory foam, and that materials like wool would also run cooler, but how do I stay warm if any of those things are going on? Should I just note the bullet and wear more clothes and blankets than I already do? Or is there a way to get a better compromise that I’m not seeing?

Another difficulty that I saw addressed in a couple posts but that I wanted a fresh perspective on based on our measurements is that I have hyper mobile Ehlers Danlos and my partner has an unspecified hypermobility disorder. We both primarily sleep on our sides and based on our weights and us having wide hips that a thicker comfort layer is generally recommended for this, but also that a thicker layer can be worse for those with joint instability. I was thinking 4 inches latex, mediumish firmness so somewhere in the 18s blended latex. The one that starts with a T not the Dunlap blended. I can’t remember the exact name. Does this sound like it would be an okay combination for our needs? Open to either a Dunlap latex pure support layer or springs. I was thinking the standard industry style ensuring that it’s reinforced steel. Or would you recommend one of the two more expensive types?

We each sleep on two pillows. One firmer foam one on the bottom and a purple pillow on the top. Not sure how that would interplay with the type of mattress we need.

For pain areas I have lots of difficulties with hip pain on our current mattress and my shoulder will sometimes sublux from sleeping on it. My partner has chronic low back pain and lots of sensitivity to change in sleeping accommodations (both pillows and mattress) that cause migraines and he has lots of neck pain for all circumstances that gets worse with changes as well.

I’m not sure if I’m forgetting anything important. Sorry for such a long post and thanks to anyone who stuck through the whole thing! Hopefully I get some responses

[NikkiTMU]

Hey danielle_schuster.

Welcome to our Mattress Forum.

First of all, major props to you for doing such thorough research. It’s clear you’ve put a ton of thought into your needs and preferences, and that really sets you up for success in this process.

Charleston Mattress is definitely worth a look, especially since you’re local. They’ve got a solid reputation, and being able to try something in person (especially with your very specific needs) can be a huge help.

You’re absolutely right that finding the right balance between your very different temperature needs is tricky but not impossible! Latex and springs are great for breathability and cooling, so leaning that way makes sense for your partner. But for you, layering will definitely be key. Think of the mattress as the “neutral base” (to support both of you), and then use your own cozy top layers (like wool, flannel sheets, or even a heated mattress pad or foot warmer just on your side) to keep your extremities warm without overheating your partner. No need to suffer in silence with 10 blankets if there are smarter ways to stay toasty! There’s more about the mattress microclimate that may interest you here (it’s Phoenix’s reply).

On the hypermobility side, you’re already on the right track thinking about comfort layer thickness and latex type. The one you’re thinking of is Talalay latex (the “T” one!) and yes, blended Talalay in the high teens for ILD is a solid starting point. It gives you a responsive but pressure-relieving surface that’s not too “dead” feeling. Just be mindful that 4 inches might feel amazing for pressure relief but could need dialing in to avoid too much sink or instability, especially with your joint sensitivity.

Support layer-wise, either a firm Dunlop base or a quality spring system can work reinforced pocket coils are great for motion isolation and spine alignment, and there are some excellent ones out there that balance durability with responsiveness. I wouldn’t say you need to go for the most expensive coil units unless you’re seeing meaningful upgrades in zoning, edge support, or coil count sometimes the difference is in the details.

Your pillow setup is also super relevant - stacking two (especially with something like a Purple on top) can sometimes throw off alignment depending on your shoulder width and mattress feel, so just be open to tweaking that after you find a mattress that works better for your bodies.

It sounds like both of you have a lot of sensitivities (understandably!), so just be patient with the process finding the right setup is definitely a bit of a journey, but it is doable.

NikkiTMU