Mattress for couples with different needs

Hoping to get some advice. I’m 130 lbs and a side/stomach sleeper. My husband is 250 lbs and a side/back sleeper who runs hot. We’re both okay with medium to medium-firm mattress, but I’m getting dizzy trying to find something that will work for both of us. We also live in Toronto and are looking at the $1000-1500 range for a king. Was thinking about the Novosbed as it seems to have good support for larger people, but worried about it running hot. Any advice or tips would be appreciated!

Hi Chrissy500,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! :slight_smile:

That can be a bit of a complex issue when you are attempting to find one mattress for people with varying needs.

Regarding sleeping positions, there is more information in mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here that speaks to that issue. Side sleepers generally require a bit more surface comfort, back sleepers can generally tolerate a wider range of comfort, and stomach sleepers generally need something that is a bit firmer on top that doesn’t allow your low back to sink in too deeply. All sleeping postures need a product using good and strong deep support that helps to promote a more neutral alignment.

As for different somatotypes, BMIs and sleeping styles, post #2 here goes into quite a bit of detail with options that you may wish to consider. The most common method of accommodation for this would be a side to side split configuration, where each side of the king mattress is configured to the needs of each person within the same king mattress encasement. Another option in a king situation would be two twin extra long mattresses placed next to each other, which would equal a king size. This tends to be used when there are more extreme differences in comfort preference.

Subject to first confirming that any retailer or manufacturer on the list that you wish to visit is completely transparent ( see this article ) and to making sure that any mattress you are considering meets the quality/value guidelines here … some options or possibilities I’m aware of in and around Toronto are listed here , including Dormio, who is a member here of the site.

I do think highly of Novosbed, and they are a site member here. Memory foam, even that with phase change materials or gels added to it, will tend to be less breathable than polyfoam or latex, and it can “feel warmer” to those who are more temperature sensitive. All foams are insulators to a degree, and a mattress that is softer that you sleep “in” more than “on” can also tend to feel warmer for individuals, allowing for less surface are being exposed for heat exchange and more insulation.

You can read more about phase change materials in post #9 here and at the end of post #4 here) and you can read more about the various different types of gel foams in post #2 here. In general terms gel foams will tend to have a temporary effect on temperature while you are first going to sleep until temperatures equalize but have less effect on temperature regulation throughout the course of the night.

In very general terms … the materials, layers, and components of a sleeping system that are closer to your skin will have a bigger effect on airflow, moisture transport, and temperature regulation than materials, layers, and components that are further away from your skin and softer mattresses or foam toppers will tend to be more “insulating” and for some people can sleep warmer than firmer versions of the same material. There is more about the many variables that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress or sleeping system in post #2 here that can help you choose the types of materials and components that are most likely to keep you in a comfortable temperature range.

Phoenix

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and informative response! You truly are a wealth of amazing information. I took a look at some of the Toronto-based companies and, while I haven’t examined all of them, it seems likely that many are out of my price range. In addition, this is our first attempt at a foam mattress so I am eager to find a product with a generous return policy (i.e. full refund if we don’t like it!)

As far as my concern about sleeping hot goes, I am now wondering about a mattress with a memory foam base and either a poly foam or latex top. Do you have any suggestions for online companies with this combination that can provide the support we need (I am 130lbs and husband is 250lb)? Our price point is 1000-1500 for a king, but we are hoping to stay under 1300. Would a company like Casper provide enough support? In addition to the durability issue, I am also concerned about the possibility of him sinking down below me and making me feel like I am “rolling” in toward him. Thanks again!

Hi Chrissy500,

You’re most welcome, and thank you for the kind words.

Having some sort of a return/exchange policy can be a very important part of some people’s shopping process. There is more about the 3 most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase in post #13 here which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on suitability, durability, and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).

Memory foam would not be a proper material to be used as the support core/base of a mattress, as it is not a very supportive material and lacks much resiliency. Spring units, polyfoam or latex would be more appropriate components for the support core. If you’re looking to keep costs lower, polyfoam will generally be more affordable than latex for the support core. A latex support core is more durable, more resilient, more elastic, more adaptable to different weights and shapes and sleeping positions, more supportive (it has a higher compression modulus so it gets firmer faster with compression), more “natural”, and has a different more “springy” and responsive feel than polyfoam. It is a higher performance material. Of course, it is also more expensive than a polyfoam core and for some people … a latex hybrid which has the benefits and “feel” of latex in the upper layers (the top 3" - 6" which are the most subject to wear and tear and contribute more to the overall “feel” of a mattress) is worth the cost trade-off.

While I did mention some of this information in my previous reply, just to make it easier for you to reference… I can certainly help with “how” to choose, but it’s not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or combinations of materials or components because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more reliable than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).

The first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).

Outside of PPP (which is the most important part of “value”), the next most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you can’t see or “feel” and assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out the information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.

In its simplest form … choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to FIRST finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers (either locally or online) that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in that are in a budget range you are comfortable with and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then …

  1. Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.

  2. Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress you are considering relative to your weight/BMI range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.

  3. Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

If you’re considering staying online, while not a complete list, there are some online mattress sources for Canadians in post #21 here.

This would be determined by a combination of factors in the completed mattress, including a strong support core and comfort materials on top that are point elastic. A pocketed spring unit can be very good at individual contouring and support, as can a high-density polyfoam core and of course latex. Latex and memory foam will be the most point elastic comfort materials, but some of the new high performance polyfoams that are of a higher density (2.5 lb or above) also can be quite point elastic and not have as much “roll-together”.

Phoenix

Thanks again, and sorry for the confusion about the memory foam base… I got confused and am going to try a new approach. I took a closer look at the simplified choice post and focused on whether it is “suitable for all weight ranges”. I didn’t find any that ship to Canada. I found 3 that are labelled “slight caution for higher weight ranges” and ship Canada. They are Bear, Helix, and Luxi. Helix and Luxi are slightly out of my price range so I am wondering about the Bear. Do you have any additional thoughts on the Bear or any concerns given our BMI and my husband’s tendency to sleep hot?

Hi Chrissy500,

The Simplified Choice Thread is by no means a complete compendium for what you’re trying to find. Did you look through the post I linked to in my earlier reply about online companies for Canadians?

Unfortunately, I can’t predict your husband’s reaction to the microclimate of a new mattress beyond the general information I’ve already provided or to which I’ve linked. If yo like, you can go back and reference my comments in this thread about temperature regulation in post #2.

As I think you already discovered in the comments section of the Simplified Choice Thread about the Bear mattress:
Slight caution for higher weight ranges…There are no lower quality materials or weak links in the mattress but with the foam density of the base layer [1.8 lb] I would also add a “slight” caution for those that are in higher weight ranges.

As an addition to the guidelines in the mattress shopping tutorial I linked to earlier, post #3 here has more information and suggestions about heavier weights that is worth reading.

Phoenix