Mattress Help! Really could use help deciding what to do

Beyond Mattresses
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This might be the only place that would understand all of the information I’m about to give and be able to give some suggestions!

I have been reading the website for probably over a year now. Our previous mattress of about 25 years was a Nikken mattress that was probably just a couple of pieces of incredibly firm foam with magnets. During pregnancy I had to add some latex foam to survive.

I am 5‘9“ 180 pounds, hope to get back down to my 155 pound pre-pregnancy weight but this might just be who I am now. Who knows husband is 6‘5“ 247 pounds. We are both stomach sleepers, but my husband also sleeps on his side. And because of chronic health issues very similar to fibromyalgia, I am in the bed a lot basically I have severe severe fatigue and migrating pain, most recently sciatic type pain, SI, joint dysfunction, etc., after most recent pregnancy and sleeping on three layers of latex. Softer latex definitely greatly contributed to my sciatic pain.

We have been trying to find a new mattress for years. My husband is tired of stuffing things back into a box to ship them back. We probably should’ve created some sort of social media account filming him and how hilarious it is to the links he goes to get them back in the box and we could be rich by now, and I could afford the most expensive mattress.

Our most recent try was the three layers of latex bed, we followed the recommendation, and I believe we got firm, medium, medium talalay for me. Which was way too soft, then switched to extra firm, firm, medium talalay but the top two layers for sure seem to sag in the middle and increase hip pain. Try to work with the company, but I think they got sick of me and said to just send it back the whole thing. We are going to send it back, but in the meantime, took off the two bad layers and I am on extra firm,firm talalay which does seem to help things with my hip pain, but it still isn’t quite right for my spinal alignment and there’s basically zero comfort layer.

We’ve tried to shop locally, fell in love with a Hypnos, this one Natural Life Somnus II | Bed'r Mattress but the lumbar support might be slightly off, and I really worry that it won’t hold up overtime for this exorbitant price point. Also really liked the black’d out recoil Lux medium on the same website.and they were willing to add more quilting to the top to give us just a little slight more firmness. Also considering just getting a really firm base and getting. The Hypnos wool topper. We really really like the feel of the natural materials. My husband liked how the natural materials were comfortable, but he felt like he was more on top of the mattress when he moved around and didn’t have to dig out of comfort layers.And I love the smell of the hypnos! Hyper gel was too squishy for us but the combination with a little bit of memory foam was awesome. Again, the price was the issue on these two. Before we found these two we really liked the nature’s spa petal Luxe firm, but were told it wouldn’t Hold up over the time. Sold here but less than $4000 more we found it. Which was pushing the top of my budget before. Blackberry Farm Mattress Set - Blackberry Farm Shop All three of these would’ve been acceptable options but when we factor in price and durability, that’s where we struggled. And obviously, we’ve only laid on each of these for a shorter period of time. No idea how we feel sleeping on them for longer.

I just kept coming back to this forum and thinking surely there must be something custom that I could come up with. I thought of maybe using a DLX as a base or back science as a base or just trying those on their own. And then maybe adding a wool topper to get that natural materials filled but I wonder if we’d hate it overtime or even just getting something super firm as a base and doing the wool topper by Hypnos but then even that seems overpriced but at least we know we like it (or do we?!?!). The hypnos topper is also on the bed r mattress website. I have come to realize that I also really like tufting for some reason. I would love any and all suggestions.

I’m sorry this is so detailed. But I was hoping that you all could handle it and help me out. My husband cannot, he’s tired of hearing about mattresses, he’s tired of hearing about layers, he’s tired of shopping for mattresses and will basically let me get anything I want at this point. :joy: I am realizing I really need some good lumbar support, something that gives me really good firm spinal alignment but then my aches and pains need something That’s a thinnish pressure point relieving comfort layer.

Please, please help! Maverick, Phoenix, where are you? I would love to have you over for dinner so I can discuss this to death .

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I used the back science mattress checker, and I realized that my spine is more out of alignment on my side than my husband. And his is firm on the bottom, extra firm on top, all Dunlop so I wonder if extra firm on top of extra firm would put me right in alignment, but there’s no comfort on that side .

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I would be happy to offer you some professional advice based on my 25 years of experience as both a mattress designer and a Doctor of Chiropractic.

First, I am thrilled to hear that you utilized the Mattress Checker App! I developed that app precisely because of situations like yours. Trying to guess what is happening to your spine based purely on feel is incredibly difficult, which is why it is a great tool to objectively assess the situation. If the app is showing that your spine is out of alignment on your side even on firm latex, it means the mattress is not contouring enough for your shoulders, while simultaneously failing to provide the targeted, rigid lift your hips need to stay level.

Putting an extra-firm layer on top of another extra-firm layer might force the spine straighter, but as you noted, it will completely eliminate the comfort layer. For someone with fibromyalgia-like sensitivities, sleeping on a board will just trade your alignment pain for severe pressure-point pain and still likely will not help you align the spine as well if you sleep on your spine, then if you had a balanced approach that allows for the shoulders to penetrate more easily than the more heavier mid-section.

Given your husband’s 6’5", 247 lb frame (and his totally understandable frustration with trying to stuff rejected mattresses back into boxes!), you both present very different structural needs, which is why a one-size-fits-all bed keeps failing you.

I created Back Science to help with this exact type of scenario by utilizing the following:

1. True Lumbar Support: Both of you are stomach sleepers, which requires immense center-support to prevent the hips from sinking. Back Science utilizes our patent-pending Lumbar-Flex™ Zoned Support. It actively reinforces the center third of the bed, giving your SI joints and lower back the rigid, elevated support they need without making the top of the bed feel like a rock.

2. Split Firmness: Because of the size and weight difference between you and your husband, we can build the mattress with a split internal firmness. We can give him the deep support he needs for his 247 lb frame (especially for his side-sleeping), while dialing in the exact zone and comfort needed for your body frame sizing.

3. A Customizable Solutions: We ship our mattresses full-size via freight, not rolled up in a tiny box. Even better, while most customers find their Back Science mattress to be perfect from the get go, should you find that the mattress is too firm or too soft, we offer free customizations at no cost whatsoever to ensure that the mattress properly suits your needs. This is easily accomplished thanks to our GripLock modular cover system, whereby we can exchange internal components that will change the level of firmness and support of the mattress right from your own home. Your husband will never have to wrestle a mattress into a cardboard box again!

Since you loved the feel of natural wool or tufting on the Hypnos but couldn’t justify the price or durability concerns, we can use our specialized Flex-Tech Supreme Euro-Top instead of the hybrid stretch-top that is what we normally use for our Back Science mattress. Our beds can also pair exceptionally well with a high-quality wool topper, which we can factor into the overall height and feel of your custom build.

You can explore our designs and how our zoning works at www.BackScience.com. I would love to help you and your husband finally get a comfortable night’s sleep without the return-process nightmare. Please feel free to reach out to us directly at 800-667-1969 to discuss a custom build. Also, don’t forget to use the code TMU10 for your Mattress Underground member discount.

Dr. Rick Swartzburg, D.C.
Founder and Head of Product Development

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Thank you SO MUCH for your feedback! I actually tried calling you for a mattress consultation last week, but let’s just say you were out of office for an undetermined amount of time. My name is Coral, you should have my number on a callback list I believe.

The mattress checker tool is really neat. We actually tested all of the ones that we were interested in and one of them had a 6.8° deviation the store owner even thought it was fun and we were puzzling out with soft or firmer would increase or decrease. The softer version of that mattress actually decreased the deviation and the firmer increased. I do realize it’s a little bit subjective because it’s hard to see the entire spine when you’re in a mattress store and in some places, you’re guessing a little bit where the dots should lineup.

We have actually toggled back-and-forth on ordering one of your mattresses and weren’t sure exactly what to get. Also I would love to hear more about the euro top option. I’m not finding that anywhere online that I can look into it?

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Reading through your situation, I think the hardest part is that you’re not really choosing between two mattresses anymore, you’re trying to find a setup that works for two very different bodies. One thing I would look closely at is how much room there is to fine-tune the mattress after the initial choice. A lot of people spend so much time comparing materials and firmness labels, but the ability to adjust the comfort layers or make changes based on real sleep experience can be just as important.

Especially after going through multiple returns, I’d probably focus less on finding the perfect mattress on day one and more on finding a company that has enough flexibility to adapt if your body says something different after a few weeks.

Are you mainly leaning toward a fully customized build now, or are you still considering a more traditional mattress and hoping to find the right match?

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To be fair, we’re not looking to customize it perfectly to my husband because he truly doesn’t care. He could sleep anywhere and has repeatedly said that he doesn’t care. We’re trying to cater to my body with its health issues and basically find the right support level and comfort level that would take away some of my pain. But at the same time not drain the bank account.

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Hey again, OftheC,

It looks like Dr. Rick @BackScience has given you a lot to chew on here, with a wide range of options available both before the mattress is built and even afterward if any fine-tuning is needed.

The one thing I’d try to avoid is analysis paralysis. At some point, all the information has to give way to making a decision and seeing how it performs in the real world. Based on everything that’s been discussed, it sounds like you have a well-thought-out path forward along with the flexibility to make adjustments if needed.

I think you’re in good hands. Trust the process, and once you’ve had some time on the mattress, you’ll have much more meaningful feedback than any amount of hypothetical “what ifs” can provide.

Just my thoughts,

Maverick

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