Hi Phoenix,
I just recently purchased a Brooklyn Bedding BME(soft). My wife is 5’4" and about 120lbs. She is usually a side sleeper. I am 5’11" and 190lbs. I usually fall asleep on my stomach and wake up on my back. I usually wake up to my wife punching me because I’m snoring. At this point, I roll back over to my stomach 
I fall asleep the fastest when I am on my stomach, so I guess I’m primarily a stomach sleeper. I went with the BME soft because most people say that it’s closer to a medium firmness(I know that’s subjective). We have slept on it for a month, and I tried to change over to side sleeping, but without much success. I’m back on my stomach. When I wake up in the morning, my lower back is tight. I guess that means that the mattress is too soft for me. My wife is sleeping a little better on the mattress after a month because i guess it is softening up. At first, she was waking up with shoulder pain and rolling back and forth. She exercises hard about 30 minutes a day and always struggles with sleeping, so it is hard for her to give me a straight answer. I want to stick with the BME, but I am thinking of maybe doing two twin xls instead of a king. I’m unsure if I should get a medium or a firm for me, but i wish they had a softer option for her. I feel like they make a good product. What should I do?
Hi justinjonesteach,
Welcome to the Mattress Forum!
Congratulations on your new mattress! :cheer: You certainly chose a product using high quality materials.
Yes, by now I think you’re already aware of not replying upon what “most people say” regarding the firmness or feel of a mattress because of the multitude of variables involved as well as differences in perception.
Yes, that would generally be correct. Your response would be a common one for someone who sleeps prone upon something that allows them to sink in more than they desire. Stomach sleepers generally require a surface comfort that allows for less deflection, so as to not overly exacerbate the already lordotic (forward) curvature of the lower back. A sore back in the morning would be a common symptom that the mattress is too soft for a stomach sleeper. There is some information about the many different symptoms that people may experience on a mattress and some of the most common causes behind them in post #2 here that may be helpful.
Yes, after 30 days your mattress should be softening up a bit as the cover stretches and the foams lose a bit of their “false firmness”.
As your wife already has some struggles with sleeping, it would be difficult from afar to predict if the mattress was contributing to these issues, as even you aren’t able to get a “straight answer” from your wife. If your wife is sleeping better as the mattress “breaks in”, and she thinks this is due to this fact, then going to a product that feels harder in the comfort layers may not be the best choice. Some of your wife’s adjustments could also be from her simply adjusting to the new mattress from her old mattress, and not necessarily be due to the change of the mattress as it loses some of its initial “false firmness”. It could also be due to any physical issues she may have as a result of any different phases she may have in her physical training cycle. It’s really not possible for me to know.
Unfortunately, there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved in choosing a mattress for me to make specific suggestions based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or theory at a distance that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful and objective testing (using the testing guidelines in the tutorial post) which is always the most reliable way to predict which mattress will be the best match for you in terms of PPP (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).
In your situation, the first thing I would do is place a phone call to Brooklyn Bedding with your concerns and consult with one of the comfort consultants and see if they have any specific suggestions, as they will have the best knowledge of which products they offer that might best suit your needs, and what they would be able to offer you, as you are still within your trial period. If you do decide to stay with this line of mattresses and order twin extra long products, it would seem from your feedback and experience that the “Soft” BME would be inappropriate for your sleeping style and you might consider going to the “Medium” model. I’m not sure if your wife would stay with the “Soft” or if Brooklyn Bedding would have other options/suggestions for you.
I’ll be interested in learning what you decide to do as you progress through your trial period, and of course if you have any other specific questions that I may assist in answering.
Phoenix