Hi partsman41953
The first place to start your mattress research is post #1 here which has all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the most informed and suitable mattress choice.
When you reach step 3 … if you let me know your city or zip then I’d be happy to let you know of any of the better possibilities I’m aware of in your area (which you can then compare with any similar online choices available to you).
As JDG0928 mentioned there are a number of mattresses or manufacturers that offer the option of customizing each side of the mattress differently which can be very helpful for those that want a single mattress but have different needs and preferences. There may also be some designs that your testing indicates may be suitable for both of you even though you are different so I would be open to this possibility as well.
Post #3 here has some thoughts about adjustable beds and also links to the adjustable bed thread which has more information and includes some good value options that can help you with your choice and be a useful value reference (or purchase choice).
Phoenix