Well I can relate to the eyeglass scenarios since I’ve been one of those patients and context has implications as do the frame size and shape. I know all too well it takes time to adjust to new lenses and new prescriptions. I mean, progressives…not easy to get right.
Having said this long and boring dissertation, the time seems just about right to ask the question. What do you think it is? What have you ever been comfortable with. Did you find that changes away from that comfortable system were slowly happening as a deterioration of that previous sleep system? Do you think it happened as a result of physical changes to age, injury or some other latent or not so obvious situation that would prevent you from being comfortable on that previous system, if new today, when it was good for you.
We bought our adult life mattresses back when mattresses didn’t come in a box and get shipped all over the country and didn’t come in all sorts of fancy flavors with fancy gels or copper infused what-not (marketing bs is what I call it). This was also before non-toxic was more mainstream and thank goodness it did.
My last decent night of sleep:
- Stearns & Foster mattress on a boxspring. No clue what model. It’s over 25 years old. Lasted a long time because it was our guest room bed.
- I had to add a topper to it because even that was too firm for me. Not perfect but way better than without it. It was a Lucid 3-inch memory foam topper. The off-gassing was horrible but open several windows… I could move around that topper much better than the other topper (Viscosoft 3-inch high density memory foam) that was on the all-latex bed.
I’m not fussy believe it or not. I like simple. I used to sleep happily on a futon for years.
What do I think it is?
Honestly, I’m not average. I am short and lighter than the average. The average anything has never fitted me so I don’t expect a mattress will either. Chairs, clothing, airplane seats, bikes, etc. you name it, if you are petite, it is rare anything “fits”.
We are also older. Our bodies have changed as it would as you age. Also, being a woman, hormone related. Research has shown women in our lovely transition phase experience joint pain, some more than others, due to massive hormonal shifts. I don’t think the hormonal shifts and changes are addressed or talked about enough. Hot flashes, cramping… sleep is hard to come by just by those non-mattress related factors. Being sedentary (in the tech business) hasn’t helped but sedentary can easily be addressed.
(I am not saying you did not give it a long enough try, but just like some of my patients, change can take a while for a body to adjust to.)
Haha, it’s ok to call me out on time. No matter the swap, I’ve consistently gone back to the soft/soft combo with no luck. When a configuration is so painful that you can’t get through the night, adjusting isn’t an option. My husband has been on the firm support/medium comfort for several weeks and chose to go sleep on the all latex spindle mattress because this Naturepedic config was more painful. That is telling, at least to me.
What I know now:
- Dunlop for comfort layers and possibly even transitional layers is out (for us). To “firm”; too dense, the combo effect due to the resistence of latex means all Dunlop or Coils + Dunlop latex is not an option
- Two layers is not enough. I prefer simpler but clearly this hasn’t worked. We need some kind of transitional layer
- Because we are older, we need softer comfort layers for pressure relief but finding that depth and the right material has been the challenge. I think the “right” transitional layer is also key. But what is that? No clue. Comfort and transition is where the we have the biggest question mark.
- Memory foam is also out. Nope.
So… armed with this awareness we are:
- Checking on the return policy for Naturepedic
- Looking @CST @FloBeds and will check out @DLX who I recently stumbled upon via r/mattress
Immediate possibility: Find a company who can make custom or sells split-sized queen layers of Talalay latex to fix our all Dunlop-latex Spindle bed. Maybe that’s the easier route. In the meantime, talk with people at the companies mentioned above.
Who knows, maybe we need to DIY. Between here, Reddit and our recent experiences with Spindle and Naturepedic — both great companies with great mattresses (just not for us) — I may just do that. 
On that note: Go Chiefs!