Forgive me for the long post, but this has been quite the ordeal.
Hey guys and particularly Phoenix. I would like your assistance in determining what to do next, as I am on my third mattress going on my fourth. Let me give you the details as I know each situation is quite unique to the individual’s characteristics. I have done my research on this site and read through the beginners rule guide and all of the various options in the comfort and support layers, so I am up to snuff on the various components of a mattress as much as a beginner could be at this stage.
I am a 30 year old male with a spinal cord injury, I do walk with a cane, however am currently also recovering from a shattered leg. I weigh 170lbs and am strictly a side sleeper with my arms closer to my torso so a good amount of pressure on my shoulders, which will be the theme of this search. I am looking for a mattress that would give all night pressure relief off of my shoulders, if there is such a thing, given the nature of my sleeping style or if there always will be some degree of discomfort/soreness or the sense that the shoulders have been slept on and it is time to turn sides. I also sleep with a body pillow in between my legs and place my free arm above the top end and my other arm tucked beneath it. I am only interested in sleeping in this same fashion and am not wanting to go through the relearning process of sleeping in other positions as I am a very sensitive sleeper.
For all these years I have slept on my sides/shoulders (on a firm mattress) and thought nothing of it. I just expected that if you are going to sleep on your side with an emphasis of the pressure on your shoulders, one can expect to wake up in the middle of the night with the sense that the shoulders are feeling the pressure and it is time to turn over to give that side’s shoulder some relief and a chance to recover before repositioning to that side again. The further in the night the more the sense of pressure would be and with the largest sense of “wow those shoulders have been slept on” being after 8-10 hours of sleep in the morning. *I should also mention I do wake up several times throughout the night to turn myself or use the bathroom as with having the spinal cord injury I cannot turn in my sleep. So up until recently when I had my girlfriend move in with me and it was time to get a larger mattress, I just assumed the shoulder discomfort I would feel being a side sleeper was simply the cost of being a side sleeper and there was nothing on the market that would completely eliminate this discomfort.
As a result I really didn’t care much about which mattress we got as long as it was a King. I always had a firm mattress so I thought thats what I preferred. She liked a softer one so we ended up going with a sleep number mattress where we could control each side separately, it was the i8 king pillow top with a 3inch poly foam comfort layer and 2 inches of synthetic fibers at the very top. Right from the get go I was never really comfortable. It wasn’t my shoulders, they actually weren’t to bad if I recall correctly. The problem was that I was getting hip/glute pain on the opposite side that wasn’t touching the mattress. Also in the morning when I would lay on my back to read I would begin getting lower back pain, especially on the lower settings so I would jack it up to 100 when I would lay on my back and ultimately settled on 55 when on my side. At any lower setting I would establish the hip pain (sleep number customer service did state that they recommend 30-40 for side sleepers), but the softer I went in the setting the worse the hip/glute pain, presumably because I had less support layer support as it was too yielding. They sent me another layer of foam to put under the air chamber, stating it would push the air chamber up closer to me thereby firming it up and adding more support to the support layer. This gave me some relief but ultimately the glute/hip pain ensued. The lower back pain was better but not totally gone when I would lay on my back in the mornings reading. Strangely, the last 4 days before they picked the mattress up I was relatively soreness/pain free, but still this was after 3 months of sleeping on it.
After this and still not coming across this forum or doing ample research, I decided to go to the much maligned Mattress Firm. Those 2 and 3 yr no interest financing options are much to good to pass on and I still wasn’t convinced that there is much to a mattress. just figured air wasn’t my thing, lets just snag a traditional firmer mattress as to not give me back problems when I’m laying on my back and reading, but soft enough in the comfort layer to minimize the shoulder pressure/discomfort. So the salesman at the place, who is just as described in the beginner’s guide, filled with stories and no knowledge of what is actually in the layers, recommended we go with the (simmons beautyrest worldclass resonance plush king size with pocketed coils in the support layer) so thats what we got. Now at 2k this was half the price as the sleep number, my back pain was gone when laying on my back and so was the glute/hip pain, but I would still wake up with that shoulder discomfort. As now I believed it could be completely eliminated with the advancements in mattress technology according to this salesman. I slept on it for 3 months and swapped it out again, this time for a (simmons beautyrest world class providence pillow top king size with pocketed coils in the support layer/see uploaded pic for specs if it appears).
So with this 3rd bed, still having the same shoulder issues, back pain has been fine on all of them other than the sleep number, but on this 3rd bed the hip pain has returned and unlike on the sleep number where the pain was on the opposite side touching the mattress the pain here is on the hip that is touching the mattress.
So to review the best qualities i’ve experienced throughout the 3 mattresses.
No air, something with enough support in the support layer to not give me back pain when I’m reading on my back, which both Simmons pocket coils gave me.
I definitely need more pressure relief on my shoulders, which so far was done best with the sleep number (although not completely) but at the expense of my hips, as apparently they were probably sinking in too much resulting in a lack of proper alignment. So at the least, even though according to the mattress firm salesman, the simmons I got was the softest feeling most pressure relief for shoulder sleepers (and pillow top being the most pressure relieving). Seemingly, when paired with the pocketed coils, was simultaneously not enough pressure relief on the shotlders while not being supportive enough on my hips, if my assessment as to them sinking in too much is correct as being the cause of the hip pain.
I should also mention I did try the tempurpedic cloud luxe and it seemed way too firm and from laying on it for quite awhile it seemed that my shoulders were already feeling pressure. When I told the salesman that he said that was the softest tempurpedic there and they were only firmer from that point. If that’s true that doesn’t seem like a viable option. I also tried a simmons black hybrid I believe its called, which was memory foam in the comfort layer and probably an inch and a half of poly right up top and seemed ok on the first visit but on the second visit I began to develop lower back pain even when laying on my side. I am yet to try latex, which this site seems to be quite fond of. Unfortunately, mattress firm doesn’t carry these and when asked why, the salesman responded “they get brought back a lot and people don’t like them.” This was his key selling technique when indicating what to look at and what not to, which as we all know can be made up on the spot to steer one into a particular mattress, presumably one with the highest margins. Aside from their limited quality of the most well known brands and either tempurpedics or presumably poly foam mattresses, I am still partial to them. Shortcomings and all, this salesman is essentially letting me keep trying out mattresses without any 100 day restriction until I find the right one as long as it takes, which in my unique and arduous case is quite important to me given that I will be going on my 4th mattress. Now I’m of course open to the smaller private mattress outlets or other recommendations. Its still all about finding the right mattress, but given my troubles and need to exchange so often thus far that is quite a perk.
Do you think a zoned mattress may be in order here or possibly a custom (although I’m sure the return on those and 100 day period might not be possible) or as I’ve mentioned latex?
Can really use the help and I’m willing to pay whatever it takes for a mattress, as without proper sleep I don’t have the energy necessary to perform my physical therapy and maintain my strength throughout life.
Thanks in advance.
-Phil