Hi Barb,
I apologize your experience is bad.
I doubt you will get the short and sweet answer you’re looking for … But appreciate the desire. The problem is, there’s nothing that anyone can tell you to buy that will ensure a suitable mattress for you. The best is to start at the tutorial post and evaluate for yourself. Even if each member who has succeeded in finding their perfect mattress listed what they had, it wouldn’t really help…
The tutorial post is here:
https://forum.mattressunderground.com/t/how-to-look-for-and-find-the-best-mattress-for-you-read-first
I will note that since you’ve had a bed or 2 fail because both you and your partner weren’t happy, you might consider a mattress that is side-to-side split zoned. Basically, each half of the mattress is designed to be more suitable for each of you in terms of PPP.
Also, you might check out the membership list for retailers that have Phoenix’s stamp of approval.