Save my marriage!

My wife has taken up residence in our spare bed room. She has complained about our matress since I bought it several years ago. I purchased a matress at SleepEZ several years ago after much online research and visiting their showroom while I was in Phoenix on business. I have the 12000 with S-M-F-XF configuration. I purchased their wood foundation and originally had problems where she was rolling into me. After months of playing around with swapping layers I finally figured out that the foundation was sagging in the middle so I added a support in the middle which helped with that problem. The problem is that my wife is complaining about waking up achey and says that the mattress is like sleeping on a park bench. I have to admit that I wake up achey also. I have tried every possible configuration possible with no success. We are both side sleepers with her 5’-4" 160 lbs (I think) and I 245 lbs 5-11". Had called SleepEZ and they suggested M-S-F-XF but that didn’t help either. I’ve tried using S-S-M-F and that didn’t help either. She says she’s finally feeling good in the morning sleeping on a pillow top matress in our guest bedroom. After spending over 2 grand on our matress, I’m reluctant to give up but it’s time to do something. I’m hoping you can help.

Hi dshervin,

I’m sorry to hear that your mattress isn’t working out as well as you hoped for.

While it’s not really possible to “diagnose” mattress comfort issues on a forum with any certainty because there are too many unique unknowns and variables involved that can affect how each person sleeps on a mattress in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) or any “symptoms” they experience … there is more about the most common symptoms that people may experience when they sleep on a mattress and the most likely (although not the only) reasons for them in post #2 here.

There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief” and “feel”.

These posts are the “tools” that can help with the analysis, detective work, or trial and error that may be necessary to help you learn your body’s language and “translate” what your body is trying to tell you so you can make the types of changes that have the best chance of reducing or eliminating any “symptoms” you are experiencing.

I would also keep in mind that because of your weight differences each of you may have different reasons for the “symptoms” you are experiencing on your mattress. Do you have the split layer combination so that each of you can have a different layering arrangement?

As a starting point … the first step that would be helpful would be to decide on whether your mattress is too soft or too firm and on “how” it is too soft or too firm (either in the upper layers or the deeper layers).

It would also be very helpful if you could list the different combinations you’ve tried on each side of your mattress (if you have the split layering) and post your comments about the differences in your experiences and how your “symptoms” changed with each combination relative to the others you have tried which may help “point to” the combination or the direction and type of changes that may work best for both of you.

I would also make sure to stay in touch with SleepEZ and let them know about the results of each layering change so you can take advantage of their knowledge and experience over many years with other customers that are in similar circumstances and have experienced similar “symptoms” so that they can also continue to provide you with some guidance and insights about the type of changes that would have the best chance of success.


The foundation claims to support 1500 pounds. If it was indeed sagging, it should have been replaced.

A poor foundation makes a poor bed.

Thank you both for the quick replies. I read all of the links you sent me in your post and shoulder pain seems to fit the symptoms best. Like I mentioned, I tried doubling up on the soft layers for my wife and it did nothing to help. I do have split layers which helped greatly in the experimentation but nothing seems to have helped. SleepEZ had recommended the M over S configuration but that didn’t help either. She does still complain about rolling towards me but it is not as severe as before my center post fix. I have to believe that the foundation is inadequate as PapaMike has pointed out. I’m surprised that SleepEZ didn’t point out that possibility when I originally called about the problem shortly after purchasing the bed. I spent a lor of time troubleshooting the problem swapping layers from side to side to the point where I used up all of my return window. It’s a pain in the butt stripping the bed and rearranging the layers over and over again with no good results. I’m tempted to purchase an extra soft layer to try to rectify it but am reluctant to spend more money not being sure of the outcome.

Hi dshervin,

It’s very unlikely that the SleepEZ foundation is inadequate and it is made to be a suitable choice for your latex mattress and for couples that are much heavier than you are (unless of course it’s defective and you can test this by putting your mattress on the floor to see if it makes any significant difference).

If you can list the specific configurations you have tried one at a time (in bold) and then post your comments about how each of them was different from the previous one or how your sleeping experience changed underneath each configuration it would be very helpful because the changes in your experience with each configuration compared to the previous one are the “signposts” that can be used to assess whether each change is moving either one or both of you in the right or wrong “direction”. Comments that only mention whether a specific combination either did or didn’t work without including “how” it was different from other combinations or how it changed your experience and “symptoms” really don’t provide enough meaningful information to make any useful suggestions.

It’s the specific changes that you experience with each combination relative to comfort/pressure relief, and support/alignment that provide the most useful information.

It’s unfortunate that you used up your return window but SleepEZ would certainly still be willing to help you find the “best possible” layering combination to the best of their ability even if your return window is over.


Because I had done my experimenting 2 years ago and had no records, I have been re-doing my experiments and now have some results to report.
The configuration we had been using was Soft/Med/Firm/X-Firm. Complaints from wife: Aches in upper arm, shoulder blades and mid back. My complaint: Upper arm pain
Next tried Med/Soft/Firm/X-Firm. Complaints from wife: Entire arm aches badly - she wound up sleeping in the other room. My complaint: Upper arm pain and lower back pain
Next tried Soft/Soft/Firm/X-Firm on her side. Results: No arm pain but entire back aches. On my side Med/Med/Firm/X=Firm Results: No arm pain but slight lower back pain.

Any suggestion for next step?

]Any suggestion for next step?

Assume your sleeping position on the bed. Take a photo of each and visually check your spinal alignment.

Check your pillows. Do your pillows provide adequate support between shoulder blade and head? Is your head aligned with your body or is it tilted up or down?

Hi dshervin,

While any suggestions are guesswork at best because your actual experience is the only way to know for certain how any changes will affect your sleeping experience and “symptoms” … I’ll make a few comments based on your feedback.

The most common source for upper body issues would be either a mattress that is a little too firm (most likely in the upper layers) or a pillow issue. If it’s a pillow issue then a thicker pillow may help to relieve upper body pressure points and if it’s an issue of the firmness of your top layer then you may either need a softer top layer or a topper.

For your wife this seems to indicate that her symptoms got worse with the firmer layering so this change is going in the wrong direction for her and this would reinforce that she would be better off with the original layering with either a softer top layer, a topper, or a different pillow.

For you this appears to indicate something else since the firmer combination seems to have left your upper arm pain the same or similar (you didn’t mention if it changed) but caused an additional symptom of lower back pain. While lower back pain is normally the result of a mattress that in one way or another is too soft … in this case the combination would be a little bit firmer so your new symptom seems to be somewhat different from the norm.

For your wife this appears to indicate that she has “jumped over” the ideal combination for her and gone from top layers that are too firm to top layers that are too thick/soft so this would also reinforce that she may need either a softer top layer (but only one soft layer) or a topper that was a little bit thinner so there isn’t as much soft latex in her top layers (say 2" of soft). It may also be worth trying S/M/S/F or S/M/M/F on her side to see if the slight softening makes “enough” of a difference for her that she doesn’t need a topper.

For you this is somewhat interesting or even “conflicting” feedback. The upper arm pain that you experienced in the original configuration seemed to be similar in the M/S/F/XF combination and then went away on the M/M/F/XF combination so this suggests that firmer layering is helping your upper arm pain.

Because your arms and shoulders would be sinking in less on firmer combinations it also brings up the possibility that the upper arm pain you were experiencing on the original combination is the result of a pillow issue. When you sleep on softer layers the “gap” between your head and neck and the sleeping surface would be smaller and as you changed to firmer layers it would become larger so the pillow you are using may have become more suitable. Again if this is the case this could indicate that you need a thinner pillow on the softer combination (the gap between your head and neck and the sleeping surface would be less with softer layering than it would with firmer layering). Of course it could also indicate that from the perspective of your upper arm pain you just needed firmer comfort layers.

Your lower back pain was also greater on the M/S/F/XF layering than it was on the M/M/F/XF layering which also “points to” firmer transition and deeper layers being better for your back so it may be worth trying M/M/XF/F or M/F/M/XF on your side to firm up the transition and deeper support layers to see what effect this has on your lower back pain and see if this makes a difference (and doesn’t introduce any other symptoms).

The first suggestion though would be to make sure that you have slept “long enough” on each combination so that you can confirm that your experience and symptoms are a clear pattern over a little longer period of time.

Once you’ve tried the different layering suggestions here then if you can post how your experience changed on each of them then it would be possible to use your feedback on the additional combinations to gain more clarity about what may be happening on the way to the “best possible” combination for each of you.

I would wait with adding any topper that your wife may need until you have both identified the best possible layering for each of you.

Slow and incremental changes that you sleep on for “long enough” to clearly identify the changes in your experience and symptoms compared to the other combinations you’ve tried is usually the most effective approach on the way to identifying the “best possible” layering combination for each of you.