Hi dshervin,
I’m sorry to hear that your mattress isn’t working out as well as you hoped for.
While it’s not really possible to “diagnose” mattress comfort issues on a forum with any certainty because there are too many unique unknowns and variables involved that can affect how each person sleeps on a mattress in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) or any “symptoms” they experience … there is more about the most common symptoms that people may experience when they sleep on a mattress and the most likely (although not the only) reasons for them in post #2 here.
There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief” and “feel”.
These posts are the “tools” that can help with the analysis, detective work, or trial and error that may be necessary to help you learn your body’s language and “translate” what your body is trying to tell you so you can make the types of changes that have the best chance of reducing or eliminating any “symptoms” you are experiencing.
I would also keep in mind that because of your weight differences each of you may have different reasons for the “symptoms” you are experiencing on your mattress. Do you have the split layer combination so that each of you can have a different layering arrangement?
As a starting point … the first step that would be helpful would be to decide on whether your mattress is too soft or too firm and on “how” it is too soft or too firm (either in the upper layers or the deeper layers).
It would also be very helpful if you could list the different combinations you’ve tried on each side of your mattress (if you have the split layering) and post your comments about the differences in your experiences and how your “symptoms” changed with each combination relative to the others you have tried which may help “point to” the combination or the direction and type of changes that may work best for both of you.
I would also make sure to stay in touch with SleepEZ and let them know about the results of each layering change so you can take advantage of their knowledge and experience over many years with other customers that are in similar circumstances and have experienced similar “symptoms” so that they can also continue to provide you with some guidance and insights about the type of changes that would have the best chance of success.
Phoenix