I am a side sleeper and have had the softest helix for about 80 days. I find it way too firm and my shoulder would fall asleep after an hour or so. Helix sent a topper which did not help. I’ve been using a 5 yr old 3LB dense foam topper that helps. I am able to sleep on my sides but wake up with soreness in my back. The topper is worn out and I have to flip it about once a week.
I’ve tried a soft latex topper from sleep on latex but found it too firm.
I have about 10 days to return the helix. I plan to return it because i don’t think a $1200 mattress should need a topper.
Wondering what my next step should be. I’d consider another online purchase of a “soft” mattress. Have been looking at some online offerings that offer a “soft” like Brooklyn bedding, cocoon, winkbeds, alexander and novosbeds. Has anyone found any of these softer than helix?
I’ve also visited mattress firm (found a $3,000 sealy that seemed OK) and sleep number (I found the support to be adjustable but not the soft/firmness)
Unfortunately your situation doesn’t have any specific answers that would apply in general because there are too many “it depends” that are part of the answers to be able to provide you with any specific advice, because suggestions that can help one person or even many people may be completely unsuitable for someone else because each person and set of circumstances are very different.
You seem to be leaning toward a very soft mattress, what most would rate as outside of the “normal” bell curve of comfort, but with the extra plushness you also complain that your back hurts, which is usually a sign of too much plush material in the upper comfort layers, allowing your alignment to be compromised. Shoulder issues can result from a mattress that is both too hard or too soft for the surface comfort, the pillow being used, as well as personal sleeping positions, postural and flexibility issues.
There are many reasons for a shoulder to “fall asleep”, not all of them mattress related. There is some good information about the many different pains/symptoms that people may experience on a mattress and some of the most common causes behind them in post #2 here that may be helpful to you, but the most common reason for lower back pain is a mattress that has comfort layers that are too thick/soft or a support core that is too soft.
There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief” and “feel” although this may be more than you really need to know to choose a mattress that is a good “match” for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences).
The Helix mattress in question doesn’t “need” a topper to perform properly, but it’s that you are personally stating that you can’t make it plush enough, even with the topper they provided you, which would generally put your preference outside of the range of comfort that most simplified choice mattresses try to cover, and it may be the case that most mattresses you try may need the addition of an extra comfort layer topper (see post #2 here), regardless of price point. It may also be that you would do better with some sort of a component system (common with latex mattresses) where you can exchange and rearrange layers and experiment with different configurations without having to replace the entire mattress.
If you do decide to return your mattress for a refund and start over again and purchase a new mattress, then the first place to start is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
I can certainly help to narrow things down and help with “how” to choose and what to avoid or act as a “fact check”, but I don’t make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or materials because only you can feel what you feel on a mattress or decide on the types of mattresses and materials that you are most interested in trying or that you tend to prefer and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved for anyone to know which specific mattress design or combination of materials would be best for you based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or theory at a distance (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here). What is “best” for you either in terms of a mattress or a manufacturer/retailer or for your shoulder pain can be very different from what would be “best” for someone else.
I would also keep in mind that the design of a mattress and how well it matches your unique needs and preferences in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) is always much more important than the types of materials and components that are inside it or the type of mattress you choose. Each mattress category includes hundreds or even thousands of different mattresses and there may be several mattresses in each category that are a perfect “match” for you or any particular person and there will be many others in each category that may completely unsuitable for you to sleep on.
In general … what you would be looking for is a mattress with firm enough deep support for your alignment and then comfort layers that are “just enough” in terms of thickness and softness to “fill in” and support the more recessed parts of your sleeping profile and relieve pressure in your most pressure prone side sleeping position so that there is less risk to alignment in your other sleeping positions. My concern, based upon a few of your comments, is that you may have been experimenting with a bit too much ultra plush material in the uppermost layers, to the point of impacting your alignment. The challenge is to find “just enough” comfort to achieve this. But again this is just “theory at a distance”.
Two of the more important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to buy a suitable mattress that is the best “match” in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for that are involved in each of them and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability, durability, and value.
The “short” version of all of this is that if you follow the steps in the tutorial one at a time you will have the best chance of success and one of the most effective “shortcuts” that can help cut through much of the confusion when you are buying a mattress is to focus on finding and dealing with knowledgeable and experienced retailers and/or manufacturers that have your best interests at heart (and aren’t just interested in selling you anything that they can convince you to buy). These are the ones that already know what you would otherwise need to learn (including the information in many of the links I listed) and understand the importance of choosing a mattress that is a good “match” for you and knowing what is inside any mattress that you are considering. They can provide you with the type of information and guidance that can help you make the best possible choice. Who you choose to deal with can be one of the most important parts of a successful mattress purchase.
Once you get to step 3 in the tutorial if you let me know your city or zip code I’d also be happy to let you know about any of the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area as well, in case you think you might be better served by trying something in person.
