Hi bedslayer,
It may be the last thing you want to hear but only you can feel what you feel on a mattress and only you can decide on which mattress to buy. The best anyone else can do is help with “how” to choose not “what” to choose.
It seems that you are on information overload but it may be the contradictory information that is most confusing to you and I would “reset” your mattress search starting with the tutorial post here which has all the basic information, steps, and guidelines you will need to make the best possible choice. It will also help you sort through all the conflicting information that is so common in the industry and you will be in a much better position to understand what’s important and what isn’t and recognize knowledgeable salespeople that are there to help educate and guide you vs those who are just interested in selling you whatever they can convince you to buy.
At it’s most basic you are looking for a mattress in your budget range that is a good match for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences), and that uses good quality durable materials that won’t soften, break down, and compress too quickly.
For the most part you can test for PPP (using the testing guidelines in the tutorial post). Beyond that knowing the details of the materials and components in any mattress you are seriously considering will help you identify any obvious weak links in the mattress and assess its relative durability (using the guidelines that are also linked in the tutorial post). You can also post them here if you would like some comments on any mattress you are considering. When you have tested a mattress for PPP and you know that the quality of the materials is good then it would be worth considering as one of your finalists and then it’s just a matter of comparing your finalists based on the criteria of your personal value equation that are most important to you.
If you have questions along the way then of course you are always free to post them on the forum.
Phoenix