Hi needanewmattress,
Just in case you haven’t read it yet … the first place to start is the mattress shopping tutorial here which has all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you find a mattress that is a suitable match for your body type, sleeping positions, and preferences … and know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
There is also more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase in post #13 here that can help you make more meaningful comparisons between mattresses.
It’s much more likely that the sagging you experienced was the result of the softening and breakdown of lower quality comfort layers in your mattress because the support core in a mattress or the support system under a mattress (assuming it’s suitable for your mattress) is rarely the weakest link in a mattress (whether it is latex or innersprings or polyfoam or any other type of support core). There is more about the many variables that can affect durability and the useful life of a mattress relative to different people in post #4 here.
There is more about hotel beds in post #3 here and the posts it links to but there are so many different versions of hotel beds that without knowing the specifics of the hotel beds you slept on it unfortunately doesn’t provide much meaningful information about the type of mattress that would be suitable for you outside of “pointing to” firmer support cores with softer comfort layers (often with a bedding package on top to add some softness and a plush feeling to the mattress) and a mattress that is in relatively good condition and has little sagging.
I would also keep in mind that the type of mattress or the materials and components inside it have much less to do with whether a mattress is suitable for you than the specific design of the mattress and how well the firmness/softness and response of the materials and components interact with each other and your specific body type and sleeping positions to provide you with good PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) in all your sleeping positions. The type of mattress or the category it belongs in (innerspring, latex, memory foam, hybrid, or any other) is more a matter of individual preference and no matter what type or category of mattress you are considering there will likely be several designs that work well for you and many others that don’t. There is more about the many factors and “specs” that can make one mattress suitable for one person even though it may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on. having said that … I would be very cautious about choosing an airbed (see this article).
There is more about primary support, secondary support, and their relationship to pressure relief in post #4 here and in post #2 here and there is also more in post #2 here which talks about the most common symptoms that people generally experience on a mattress which can help give you some insights into why you are experiencing some of the issues you are experiencing but in very general terms … the most common cause for lower back pain is comfort layers that are too thick and soft or support layers that are too soft. Every type of mattress can be made with firmer or softer support cores and firmer/thinner or softer/thicker comfort layers. The “trick” is to have a support system that is firm enough for your body type and then “just enough” thickness and softness on top of it to relieve pressure in all your sleeping positions. Support/alignment and pressure relief are opposites in terms of what they require and the ideal is always to find the right balance between them so there isn’t too much of either one or the other.
If you choose a mattress that is too firm and needs additional pressure relief then adding a topper can be a good idea but the key is to add a topper that is the most suitable thickness and softness because if you add a topper that is too thick and soft for you then it would have the same effect as choosing a mattress that has comfort layers that are too thick and soft for your body type and sleeping style and you can end up with a sleeping system that isn’t a good match for you. Based on your description … it sounds like the topper you were using is thicker/softer than it needed to be in combination with the mattresses you were using it on (the mattress underneath a topper will also have a significant effect on the thickness and softness of a topper that is best for you). Post #2 here and the topper guidelines it links to have more information about choosing the type, thickness, and firmness of a topper that has the best chance of success. If a mattress needs additional pressure relief but you aren’t experiencing back pain and then you add a topper that results in lower back pain then the odds are high that the topper is too soft/thick and that you’ve “jumped over” the mattress/topper combination that would be suitable for you and exchanged a pressure issue for an alignment issue.
Nobody else can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved for anyone to be able to know which specific mattress is best for you in terms of PPP based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance” (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here) so your best chance of success is always careful and objective testing using the testing guidelines that are in the tutorial post which in most cases and for most people will be “close enough” to their actual sleeping experience that if any fine tuning is necessary it will be relatively minor (see post #4 here). The alternative to this is a good exchange and refund policy and/or having good options available after a purchase so you can use our actual sleeping experience on a mattress to decide whether it’s a good match for you with less risk.
For most people their is a fairly wide range of mattresses that they will sleep well on and that would make a suitable choice in terms of PPP but if you are more sensitive to smaller differences between mattresses (regardless of the type of mattress or materials) and are closer to the “princess and the pea” end of the scale than the “I can sleep on anything” end of the scale then the range of mattresses that would be suitable for you will likely be much smaller. If this is the case and you aren’t confident that you would be in the majority where your careful and objective testing would be a good indication of your “real life” sleeping experience then the options you have after a purchase to make changes by further customize the mattress or individual layers or to return the mattress would become a more important part of your personal value equation if in spite of the “best efforts” of both you and the retailer or manufacturer you are working with your choice doesn’t turn out as well as both of you hoped for.
As frustrating as it may be … and as much as many consumers may wish that someone else could tell them which mattress will work best for them in terms of PPP or that mattress reviews or other people’s experiences or opinions could tell them which mattress would be a suitable choice … the reality is that only your own personal experience can tell you this (see post #13 here).
There is lot of information in this reply and in the tutorial post and the other posts it links to and I would read it like you would a good book and resist the temptation to “study” it like you would a textbook because trying to choose a mattress based on specs or an overemphasis on technical information at the expense of your own personal experience can too easily lead to confusion and “paralysis by analysis” and can lead to just as many poor choices as not having enough information to make an informed choice in the first place.
Once you reach step 3 in the tutorial post then if you let me know your city or zip code then I’d be happy to let you know about the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area. In many cases the knowledge and experience of the retailer or manufacturer you are dealing with can be one of the most important factors in making a successful purchase.
In the end your choice will come down to testing for suitability and PPP (either in a showroom or in your bedroom), checking for the quality and durability of the materials and components in your mattress to make sure there are no weak links (you can’t "feel the quality/durability of the materials in a mattress), and then comparing your finalists for “value” based on all the criteria that are most important to you.
Phoenix