Hi Irishman 222,
There are a lot of independent factory direct manufacturers in and around NYC which make a wide range of mattresses … some of them not so commonly seen in other areas of the country. You will find them in post #2 here.
You may also find that because of your different sleeping positions and weights that you may do best with different constructions on each side of the mattress and most smaller independents will do this when it is necessary.
There is also a wide range of prices and materials in this list so I would certainly do some initial research on their websites and on the phone before selecting a few that you feel would be the most worthwhile to visit.
A side sleeper typically needs a thicker softer comfort layer and a good place to start would be about 3" and then go up or down from there depending on your experience in testing mattresses. Heavier weights also would typically use firmer layering (in both the comfort layers and the suupport layers) than lighter weights because firmer foam feels softer to them than it does to people with a lighter body weight.
Your wife on the other hand could use thinner and firmer comfort layers (1-2") than would be typical for people of her height and weight because of her stomach sleeping which has a tendency to allow the hips to sink too deeply in the mattress and cause a swayback position … and possible back issues. This may work out to your advantage as her need for firmer comfort layers and good support for her stomach sleeping may also help to match her to the firmer layering you would need because you weigh more than she does. I am guessing though that she would also spend some time on her side (most stomach sleepers do) so she may need a little extra thickness and softness to help with any pressure issues when she does.
Of course you need to decide on which materials feel best to you and it may help you to read through the overviews here here to get a sense of the different choices you have and give you some basic information that will help you along the way.
Good luck and feel free to post here along the way if you have questions.
And congratulations on your marriage 
Phoenix