I need to buy a new mattress for my partner and me, and i’m at my wits end with it. She is a stomach sleeper who prefers a bed about as hard as a rock, I am a side sleeper and prefer the exact opposite – as much give for my hips/shoulders as I can possibly get.
I’ve done forum searches here and haven’t found anything, and have also been researching online and not getting a lot of help.
I know that one option would be to get a king frame and two twinXL mattresses, but that will still mean that I’ll be sleeping considerably more low than her, and also there will be a constant gap between.
I know that there are memory foam mattresses that one can buy with two different firmness levels, but are there more conventional (coil springs, pillow top) that can also have differing firmnesses? (I’m not huge on memory foam beds, but not opposed to them per-se).
Any thoughts you have or places that you could point me in the right direction would be much appreciated.
It seems that you are facing the classic dilemma of a couple with very different needs and preferences that need to be designed into the same mattress or “sleeping system”.
One of the most common approaches used to solve these type of challenge and take into consideration the unique needs and preferences or each sleeping partner is a “side to side split” mattress construction. In this approach each side of a mattress is layered differently to take different needs and preferences into account. In effect you would have two different mattresses on each side combined into one cover (or in some cases a different topper on each side of the same mattress) and each side would feel and perform differently. The mattress can be built so that the total thickness of the mattress is the same for each side, which means that there would be no difference in elevation, and with a suitable tight fitted quilted cover the “split” transition area between sides is usually unnoticeable for most people. You can read more about this in post #2 here
A split mattress (most commonly available in a split king which is two twin XL mattresses but can also be made in a split queen by some manufacturers) can be a good way to accommodate very different needs and preferences although of course the “gap” in the middle can be a little bit of an issue for those who prefer to sleep in the same mattress and use the “split” in the middle of the mattress, but the possible discomfort will be not so much because of the “split” itself but because of the difference in the firmness levels of the two sides. The bigger the difference between the sides… the more noticeable the transition area in the middle and… of course this also depends on where on the mattress each person sleeps.
Which of level of comfort/plushness and support/firmness would work best for each partner would depend on the needs and preferences of each person in the couple. Careful testing can help you determine the level of comfort/support you each need and if you are considering an online choice where you can’t test the construction in person this is where the help and guidance of a knowledgeable and experienced manufacturer or salesperson who knows every detail of the mattresses they make and sell, how they interact with different people and couples, and that has your best interests in mind can be invaluable.
Out of the whole range of opinions that many different people would have about split layering, talking to manufacturers such as SleepEZ (which is a member of our site) and others who actually make mattresses with split layering will probably be the best source of information. Their focus is much more on informing people than it is “selling” to people so they would have a large “database” of feedback all along the spectrum of opinions and individual “reactions” to split layering and what they tell you can be trusted and would give you a much wider range of responses and possibilities that may affect you.
[quote] I know that there are memory foam mattresses that one can buy with two different firmness levels, but are there more conventional (coil springs, pillow top) that can also have differing firmnesses? (I’m not huge on memory foam beds, but not opposed to them per-se).
Any thoughts you have or places that you could point me in the right direction would be much appreciated.[/quote]
Memory Foam Comfort (member of our site) has a memory foam component-style system that you may wish to enquire about.
Another option would be a core split construction and a solid comfort layer on top which will moderate the feeling of the different firmness levels of each side below it and take the “edge” off the “split” in the middle. Arizona Premium Mattresses has a core split which contains a 6" split support core of 100% natural Talalay latex in your choice of 3 different firmness levels and a 3" solid comfort layer with two different firmness options. It has a bamboo cover quilted with natural Joma wool. All of these components are very high quality materials and there are no lower quality materials or weak links in the mattress.
SleepEZ split mattress is this one. This mattress has split firmness layers in each of the three 3" layers of either 100% natural Dunlop or 100% natural Talalay in your choice of 4 firmness levels for each layer and has an organic cotton cover quilted with organic wool. This mattress also uses very high quality materials and there are no lower quality materials or weak links in this mattress.
Another possible option would be a system using pocketed springs where you can put different springs on each side with different foams on each side as well such as ZenSpring from Savvy Rest.
While your own careful testing or personal experience is the most reliable way to know whether any mattress is a good “match” for you in terms of comfort and PPP(Posture and alignment, Pressure relief and your own Personal preferences) … when you can’t test a mattress in person or you have “out of the norm” situation then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and “feel” of the materials they are using as they relate to your situation and the options they have available that may be the best “match” for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.
Aside from this I would make sure to revisit the mattress shopping tutorial here(there is a condensed version of it at the end of that post) which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
When assessing any product and before making any purchase also be sure that you find out information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).
I’ll be interested to learn about your progress and find out what you decide. I’ll be happy to assist you with any other questions you might have.
Hey Randy, i was going to report back on my vzone purchase from flobeds now that ive had it about 3 months, and saw your thread, and had to chime in. I searched high and low for a mattress i could adjust using latex, as i found in my hours of research, latex is the way to go. . i narrowed it down to a few members of this site, called them all, and ultimatley chose the mattress with a few more bells and whistles. I went with the adjustable zone layer mattress from https://www.flobeds.com/ , you mentioned shoulders and hips as a side sleeper, i had the same issues, i have them NO MORE! heres the bed i got https://www.flobeds.com/products/6299QU the kicker for me was when i found out after talking to flobeds on the phone, that in the first 100 nights if i needed a different firmness at any zone in my body, they would ship it out free of charge, no need to return the old zone, no dollars spent what so ever. i got my bed in early July, and made 2 adjustments to my zone, i have been sleeping like a baby since August, and couldnt be happier with the product and service i got with my selection. they knocked off 5% for being a member here, and took great care of me. I cant shut up about my bed to anyone looking for a bed, the quality and adjustablitly is just un real.
Sleepin soundly, Russ
PS phoneix, can you change my name to russissleeping?
Thanks for taking the time for an initial follow-up on your new FloBeds mattress, and I’m happy that you are sleeping better . I hope you’ll be able to follow up with more details down the road after you’ve had the chance to sleep upon your “new” mattress for a while longer.
Note: I just changed your name to russissleeping as you requested.
just following up on this, I’ve done a bunch of research including visits to various mattress stores both large and boutique – it’s looking like a coil base with a latex topper won’t work for me because even the medium firmness latex on top of coils (which is typically the softest that anyone will go) is still too firm for me.
A bed with firm latex on one side and a medium core/plush top on the other would maybe be an option, but even that feels much too firm for me (the plush part, that is). Also, sleeping on a full-latex bed is just really strange – there’s something about the density of latex that makes it feel even more firm than it actually is/ought to.
So, the other option is to have two twin mattresses of different firmness and a topper on top of them, but a firm topper will still be too hard for me and a plush one will be too soft for her.
Plus, 3k for a mattress that is essentially two twins cobbled together with a topper on top just seems insane to me.
So, still striking out, I’m in pain all the time, and I have no idea what to do. Any additional help or information on your experiences would be greatly appreciated.
No, there are offerings, including site members here, who can provide plush latex atop a pocketed spring unit (but maybe you were only able to sample firmer latex atop pocketed spring units in your area). But it may be that you don’t prefer the support of the pocketed spring unit (may be the cause of the “firmness” that you don’t like), or you didn’t try something using enough plush material on top of the spring unit in thickness, or what you tried wasn’t soft enough for your preference. Or you just don’t like the feel of latex overall. All could be reasons for what you felt when testing out mattresses.
Have you actually tried such a product? Or are you attempting to guess what something might feel like based upon testing latex in a dissimilar arrangement?
It may be that you don’t enjoy the resiliency and support that latex offers, even in lower ILDs. Some people don’t prefer that and instead like something that is very point elastic, but less supportive, such as a visco-elastic memory foam or some of the newer softer high performance polyfoams.
A topper will be able to moderate surface plushness, but the overall comfort will depend upon the mattress upon which it is placed, so unless you have sampled a specific combination, you’d be unable to reliably predict if you would enjoy that combination or not. And buying a new mattress with a toper, unless there are no other viable alternatives, isn’t something I usually recommend, as it creates a second set of variables that can further complicate your mattress selection process.
Price is certainly part of everyone’s own value equation, but depending upon the materials some combinations will by default be more expensive than others. Latex, specifically natural and organic certified, tends to be one of the more expensive foam materials.
I’m really not sure what you’re asking here. You are basically pointing out that you don’t prefer the feel of latex. So I’m guessing you’d want to search out something that doesn’t use latex, or if it does use latex it would be in thinner transition layers within the mattress. Besides the information I posted in my reply to your first post, you may wish to seek items using memory foam or softer high performance polyfoams in the upper layers which are quite point elastic but overall don’t have the same support factor that latex offers. This may be a better direction for you.
