Hi Terencer. Full disclosure first: I’m Hendrik with CBH Wood Furniture / Swiss Dream Beds, a small family shop in New Brunswick and one of the Trusted Members here, so I’m a maker with a horse in the race.
Split-layer designs are the usual answer to “she likes soft, I need firmer,” but they leave you guessing at layer combinations, and a few minutes lying on a bed rarely tells the real story. That shows up over months of sleeping on it.
A couple of things I’d think about before ordering:
When a foam mattress starts hurting your lower back after 3 years, it’s often because it has softened under the heaviest part of you, your hips, so your spine bends a bit all night. Going firmer helps, but for two side sleepers the goal is really “shoulders and hips sink in enough, waist stays supported.” Too firm on your side and you trade back trouble for shoulder and hip pressure.
What’s under the mattress matters as much as the layers. Latex is heavy and wants flat, even support with airflow. An old box spring or wide, flexy slats can make a new latex mattress feel wrong, and then the mattress gets the blame.
We do it a little differently than the customizable brands. Our bed is natural VitaTalalay latex with untreated Swiss sheep wool and organic cotton, on a movable slat system that gives under the shoulders and hips and holds up the waist, and the whole bed is built without metal. We don’t sell swappable layers; we use one combination because over the years it has worked for the large majority of our customers, side sleepers included, and the slats do a lot of the adjusting to each person’s shape. If you’d rather have a whole system that’s already worked out, you’re welcome to reach us through our website.
Either way, I’d lean Talalay for the comfort layers for two side sleepers. It’s springier and gentler on shoulders than Dunlop at the same firmness.
Good luck, and let us know what you end up with.
— Hendrik (CBH Wood Furniture / Swiss Dream Beds, Trusted Member)