Yikes.. 32 male mattress shopping (Charlotte, NC)

Hello,

I just bought a new place… and after sleeping on a couch for years I’ve decided to look into getting a quality bed. I am pretty overwhelmed at this process.

I have visited several stores in the area to get educated, some experience feeling some stuff, and to narrow things down. I am also working through the material on this website but there is a lot to internalize.

I believe that I am willing to spend the money on a latex mattress, because those seemed to me to be the most comfortable. What I don’t really know is how to shop from there. I’m 32, male, medium build, fluctuate between 170-200 lbs (overweight), and generally an easy sleeper. I am a side sleeper when I fall asleep but who knows where I wake up.

I am fatigued a lot of time though and I don’t know if that’s related to sleeping. I generally don’t struggle with muscle soreness aside from weightlifting. On occasion I have lower back pain but this is far from chronic (I really assume everyone gets this).

I also want something that is fun to have sex on. I read online about “Casper” specifically for that- and that is much cheaper than what I’m seeing locally. Should I look for more stuff up that alley?

Where I’m starting to get overwhelmed from there is in talking about inches of thickness, grades/densities, latex styles, and other components. I believe the word of this site that there is a difference in construction materials. Do I get this online or locally? I visited a local retailer who told me they don’t make the latex there anyway, so is there even any advantage to buying a latex mattress locally, except for the benefit of being able to test it first?

Am I supposed to put a topper on a latex mattress? Or is both support and comfort built in?

I’m willing to spend the 1500-1800 range on a quality mattress to take me into late middle age but if I can make a good value purchase for less that would be great- after all I don’t seem to have health reasons necessitating the highest end product.

Hi director,

While I can certainly help with “how” to choose … I don’t make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or combinations of materials or components because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).

The best place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps most importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists (based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you).

While I can’t speak to how any mattress will “feel” for someone else because this is too subjective and relative to different body types, sleeping positions, and individual preferences, sensitivities, and circumstances … outside of "comfort’, firmness, and PPP (which is all about how well you will sleep) the most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you can’t see or “feel” and assessing the quality/durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label (or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new) so I would always make sure that you find out information listed here so you can compare the materials and components to the quality/durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.

Assuming that the materials in a mattress you are considering are durable enough for your body type and meet the quality/durability guidelines I linked relative to your weight range … the choice between different types and combinations of materials and components or different types of mattresses are more of a preference and a budget choice than a “better/worse” choice (see this article) but the best way to know which types of mattresses or materials you tend to prefer will be based on your own local testing and personal experience.

There is more about mattresses and sex in post #2 here. You certainly won’t find any agreement about this but it would probably be safe to say that “most” people would probably agree that more resilient materials such as latex and polyfoam and innersprings that have more “bounce” would probably be their preference over less resilient materials that have no bounce such as memory foam.

The idea that any mattress is specifically “made for sex” is misleading and in the case of Casper it’s just “marketing copy” that is meant to sell a mattress. It does use latex as the top 1.5" layer which is a more resilient material but it also uses memory foam underneath this which is less resilient and it also uses a polyfoam support core which is less resilient than either latex or an innerspring.

There are certainly many mattresses that are more resilient that many people would say are “better for sex” than a Casper although again this is very much a personal preference issue.

The manufacturer or retailer of a mattress should be able to provide you with specific information about the type and quality/durability of the materials inside it (and if they either can’t or won’t I wouldn’t buy it). One of the main benefits of buying locally outside of of the type of “in person” service and guidance that they can provide is that you can make many side by side comparisons with other mattresses in the store to get a good sense of which of their mattresses you prefer while with an online purchase you can’t make the same type of “real time” comparisons because the only way you will know whether it’s suitable for you in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP or how it compares to other mattresses you may have tried will be based on your own personal experience and comparisons.

You can see my comments about choosing a mattress first with the intention of adding a topper later in post #2 here. In most cases I would avoid this approach because of the uncertainty involved with two purchase choices instead of only one and choosing a topper that would be suitable in terms of PPP for a specific person on a specific mattress can sometimes be almost as difficult as choosing a mattress that doesn’t need a topper in the first place. I would generally focus on choosing a mattress that is likely to be a suitable match without a topper (again unless you can test the combination in person or you are purchasing both online as a set and they both have a good return/exchange policy) and then use the option to add a topper as a “backup” strategy in case your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for rather than a “primary” strategy.

Your budget it certainly high enough to purchase a very good quality/value mattress but there isn’t a “formula” that can be used to assess or “calculate” the value of a mattress because there are so many different variables and criteria involved that can affect the price of a mattress that can each be more or less important to some people and not to others who may have completely different criteria or definitions of “value”. The “value” of a mattress purchase is also relative to how a mattress compares to the other finalists you are considering or to other mattresses that are available to you in your area (or online if you are also considering online options) based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you. There are many reasons that a mattress that may be “good value” for one person or in one area of the country may not be good value for someone else that has very different needs and preferences or that lives in a different area. I would also be very cautious about assuming that the price of a mattress has anything to do with how well you will sleep on it.

If you are looking at online options then the mattress shopping tutorial includes several links to lists of many of the better online options I’m aware of (in the optional online step) that include many different types and categories of mattresses (including latex) in a wide range of different designs, prices, firmness levels, and return/exchange policies that would be well worth including in your research if you are comfortable with an online purchase.

The better options or possibilities I’m aware of in and around the Charlotte, NC area (subject to making sure that any mattress you are considering meets the quality/value guidelines I linked earlier in this reply) are listed in post #2 here.

You certainly have some good options available to you both locally and online that are inside your budget range.

While there is no way to quantify how long any mattress will last for a specific person or predict exactly when you will decide to replace it because it is no longer suitable or comfortable for you (because this is the only real measure of durability or the useful life of a mattress that really matters) because there are too many unknowns and variables involved that are unique to each person … if a mattress is well inside a suitable comfort/support range and isn’t close to the edge of being too soft when it is new (see post #2 here) and you have confirmed that it meets the minimum quality/durability specs that are suggested in the guidelines I linked then it would be reasonable to expect a useful lifetime in the range of 7 - 10 years and with higher quality and more durable materials like latex or higher density memory foam or polyfoam (in the comfort layers especially) it would likely be in the higher end of the range or even longer and the chances that you would have additional “bonus time” would be higher as well.

In its simplest form … choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to first finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then …

  1. Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.

  2. Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in the mattress relative to your weight range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.

  3. Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

Phoenix

Last year, my parents purchased a queen size component latex mattress. For my g/f’s birthday in the same year, I also purchased the same queen size component latex mattress for my g/f. I got them both at Dilworth Mattress. I highly recommend them. Top notch bed. They have a showroom where you can try them out.

I also purchased Contour Technogel pillows for my entire family. I list the pillows because that’s a big part of the whole sleeping solution.
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Thank you for the information. I will make my assessments about comfort based on your guide.

One way that I can bring the cost down on Latex (link below) is to get only the top layer, in this case 3’’ of blended latex. The bottom layers use 2.4’’ density foam. If the comfort level is a wash (to me) between a 3’’ or, say 6’’ or full latex matress, should I be worried about longevity with so much foam involved?

lakemattress.biz/Latex_Mattress.php
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Hi director,

No … 2.4 lb polyfoam is a high quality material that easily exceeds the foam density guidelines here and of course any type or blend of latex is also a very durable material so there would be no lower quality materials or weak links in the mattress and I wouldn’t have any durability concerns.

Phoenix