brooklyn bedding a bit too firm - other recommendations?

So I recently got the standard best mattress ever from brooklyn bedding. I’m actually nearing the end of the trial period (which got extended after I informed them of my doubts and they sent me a topper) and I’m considering sending it back.

My main issue is that without the topper it feels a bit too firm, like my bodyweight is slowly crushing my arm and shoulder while laying on my side. For reference I weigh in around 160-170. With the topper I feel a bit too sunk in, and changing positions is definitely a bit harder, while at the same time laying on my back isn’t really as super comfy anymore either. Almost like my body doesn’t compress the foam evenly/naturally.

These feel like minor gripes and I’m not sure another mattress would necessarily suit me better at this point. So I’m hoping there’s one or more people out there that had a similar experience finding the medium brooklyn bedding a tiny bit too firm and maybe even have a recommendation on a better solution they found? Or anyone that’s experienced both their soft and medium variants and can comment on the differences?

My only other experience with memory foam style beds was at a local b&m and I recall thinking the serta icomfort foam series felt pretty great. It was definitely softer than the bb without an excessive amount of sinkage, from what I recall, but obviously that’s only from memory of trying it once in the store. Again any recommendations, or even just ideas for further research, would be amazing.

Thanks for any help you may have to offer,

Hi gregor_mc,

I’m sorry your BME isn’t quite working out for you :frowning: , but at least you do choose a product with a good return option should you decide to avail yourself of that.

Unfortunately I can’t diagnose why you might be feeling the way you do on a mattress via an online forum, but there is some information about the many different symptoms that people may experience on a mattress and some of the most common causes behind them in post #2 here that you may find interesting. Form your description (and assuming your pillow is the proper height to assist with neck/shoulder alignment), it sounds as if adding additional thickness was not to your liking, and also this can impact the ability to reposition. Comfort layers will not compress evenly – especially these materials which are quite point elastic. The amount of compression will depend upon the mass applied to these comfort materials and the combination, thickness, types, softness, resilience and compression modulus of these materials. Form what you describe it seems that you felt you were sinking in a bit too deeply with the extra topper. This could point to other options that you may desire something like the BME but with slightly softer layers of a similar thickness, or that you desire something using a slightly less firm support core, or that your comfort materials are actually too soft and are allowing you to “feel through” to the support core, or that you prefer something that feels different from a more resilient polyfoam like the TitanFlex. It really can be quite a long list of possibilities, which is why all I can do is provide more general statements.

While other people’s comments about their experiences with a particular type/style of mattress can certainly be well intentioned, I would always keep in mind that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and I would be cautious about using anyone else’s suggestions, experiences or reviews on a specific mattress (either positive or negative) or review sites in general as a reliable source of information or guidance about how you will feel on the same mattress or how suitable or how durable a mattress may be for you. In many if not most cases they can be more misleading than helpful because a mattress that would be a perfect choice for one person or even a larger group of people in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on (even if they are in a similar weight range).

I would keep in mind that other people’s experiences in general won’t tell you much if anything about the suitability, quality, durability, or “value” of a mattress for any particular person. (see post #13 here).

The BME is not a memory foam bed, so if you are interested in that style of a product you may wish to change your focus a bit. If you’re interested in shopping online again, you may wish to consider using the experience and expertise of the members listed in post #21 here who are all very experienced and knowledgeable and specialize in providing the type of help and guidance on the phone that can help you make good choices. There are a wide range of memory foam options included in the choices there and I believe that all of them compete well with the best in the industry in terms of their quality, value, service, and transparency.

As far as ideas for further research, and if you do decide to look at some local offerings, the first place to continue your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).

Outside of PPP (which is the most important part of “value”), the next most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you can’t see or “feel” and assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out the information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.

In its simplest form … choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to FIRST finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers (either locally or online) that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in that are in a budget range you are comfortable with and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then …

  1. Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.

  2. Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress you are considering relative to your weight/BMI range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.

  3. Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

If you arrive at more specific questions as you perform your shopping or research, I’ll do my best to be assistive.