Hi Ejones,
I am not a mattress expert, but I can respond to several of your points for my own experience only. My husband and I purchased a Sealy Posturepedic mattress twelve years ago. Before long, there was “hump” between the area where my husband laid, and where I laid. I said to him that when they delivered it, they must have given us the wrong mattress, as this one must be designed to keep each person on their side of the bed. Eight years later, my back was killing me, and I was getting muscle spasms because the bed was getting saggy.
We loved my brother-in-law’s bed and asked what brand/model it was. It was so super plush and cushiony, we were in love!! They said it was a Sealy Posturepedic. Not remembering what brand/model our existing bed was (and forgot to look), we went to Sleepy’s and laid on many beds. Again, we went with a Sealy Posturepedic with a euro pillow top that was pretty firm. Within 6 months, there was already impressions in the pillowtop, where we both lay. Because of the pillowtop, we cannot flip it, just rotate it, so we did. What made me crazy, is that neither of us are big people – I was 5’7" and 135 lbs, and my husband was 5’4" and about 165 lbs.
At that time, I was in love with the latex, low profile soft pillow that I bought at Sleepy’s, and called Latex International, the manufacturer to find out where I could buy more (for a cheaper price than the $100 Sleepy’s was charging). They pointed me to a former executive of LI, Bob Zukowski, who now owned his own pillow and custom mattress store. When I spoke to him, I mentioned about how I was frustrated that my “new” bed already had ruts in it. He said it’s because of the foam in the pillowtop is petroleum based, and begins to break down immediately with pressure and body heat. Talalay (natural latex) does NOT do that because it’s natural, and in general, lasts around 20 years without a break-down in performance. He told me about custom beds, and it’s ability to be customize each person’s side to their personal comfort (which may not be the same as your partner), it’s excellent support for people with bad backs (at that time I only had one herniated disk), and it’s ability to isolate movement. All of these were of particular interest to me (my husband has Restless Leg Syndrome, and in the Sealy Posturepedic, I am jostled around with every shake of his leg!), but having just spent over $3,000 on the Sealy, and it only being 6 months old, I couldn’t justify trashing it.
Flash forward three and a half years, and the ruts in my Sealy Posturepedic are HORRIBLE. There is a big lump again between us, and the coils are no longer functioning the way they should. I recently woke up screaming in the middle of the night because of back spasms. When laying on my side, the area between shoulders and my hips is completely concave, and my spine is in a U shape!
3 months ago, I injured my back even more, and had 3 herniated disks in 4 places; one was so bad, the herniation was pressing against my spinal cord, causing paralysis in my foot. I couldn’t have slept ONE night in the Sealy bed after that – not for $1,000,000. I’ve been sleeping on an Ikea firm foam mattress ever since (a little too firm). So now I have a $3,000 mattress that is completely useless to me, and quite honestly, my husband is completely disgusted with that mattress too. He is 5’4" and now close to 200 lbs, and is bottoming out in the mattress. I was shocked when I saw it this morning!! Now he is waking with muscle spasms and a sore back, and the mattress is only 4 years old!!
Since I knew about the latex beds, I told my husband about how I thought this would be a good thing for both of us. He has never slept on anything other than a spring/coil bed, so I think he was a little uncertain about the latex, but we went to a local retailer and tried the Savvy Rest Serenity. We each tried different configurations of the layers until we both found a combination of layers that was comfortable for each of us, and they were different! I don’t know why companies have not thought of this before!! Every person is different, so why does one person have to settle for something that’s not comfortable for them?? In either case, we are BOTH THRILLED to be getting the latex bed – for many reasons – it does not permanently compress or disintegrate so we will never get ruts or a hump, and we both love the feel of the latex bed – we feel like we’re floating in mid-air!! No pressure points whatsoever!! There will never be a hump between us, it will give us superior back support and pressure relief (no more arms going dead and waking up with pins and needles), we both get to sleep on what’s comfortable for us, and no motion transfer! After spending almost $7,000 on Sealy mattresses over the last twelve years, I am DONE. They will NEVER see another penny from me! Now, buying a quality latex bed, that’s a $3,000 (or less) investment in your health, both for your back and for sleep quality!! And best yet, it should last about 20 years!! YAY!!!
As for your question about what mattress is not hot, I don’t have my bed yet, but if my latex pillow is ANY indication, you shouldn’t be hot in it, either. My daughter has a 2" Talalay topper on her bed, and she’s never complained about it being too hot. There are holes that run throughout the material, and as long as you have the proper foundation or platform bed with spaced slots, then it can breathe. The layers are also encased in a mattress cover that should have wool in the top zippered part that you lay on, so that again is a good, natural material that will breathe.
I would try to find ANY retailer in your area that has a multi-layer latex bed for you to try. If you can’t find one at all near you, yet think it may be right for you, I would order it from sleepez.com – they have a 90 day refund policy that you can return the entire bed for a refund if you don’t like it!
I wish you much luck in finding the right mattress for you. And thanks for your service to this country. I hope you find a mattress you’ll be happy with, soon!! 
Best,
Melissa
