I need to get a new mattress and need some advice. My main conclusion from reading here is that because I have an unusual body, I haven’t ever tried a mattress that had any chance of working for me.
I want to fix this. I’m in New Orleans; is there someone I should pay a visit to? If not, what are my options?
Either way, I’m going to describe my shape and what I’ve slept on. I’d appreciate any suggestions on how to move forward. I’ve got to buy a new bed. And I want to find something actually good.
This is long, but I’d rather be thorough instead of getting bad advice or having to do some long back and forth.
Here goes:
I’m a competitive athlete (male). I’m 6ft, and 185lbs. So BMI of 25. But I’m currently adding muscle mass and lowering my body fat %, so the BMI is going to get “worse” and will probably end up at about 30.
I’ve got freakishly broad shoulders, amazingly good posture, and a huge differential between my chest and my waist. Plus I’ve got long arms: the bend of my elbows is almost at my hips.
I have literally never managed to buy a dress shirt or suit off the shelf. Normal office chairs stop being comfortable after about 6 months and give up the ghost within a year.
Logically, my problem should translate over to bedding. But until I read this website today, I didn’t make the connection. (For office chairs, the Herman Miller Embody and the Aeron work just fine because they don’t have any foam or anything else that my weird shape could put stress on and wear out. Nothing else has ever lasted.)
According to the articles here, my shoulder measurements would need something like an 8-9" comfort layer to have any hope of sleeping comfortably on my side. (And I’m not even sure that’s going to work. The broadest part of my chest is quite a bit further out than my hip.)
So, that probably explains why I’ve always been a back sleeper and why I do not move at all during the night. (I had a sleep study done and even they thought I was abnormally still.)
I’ve only bought 2 mattresses in the last 20 years. I’ve been putting off buying a 3rd because of how hopeless it was the last two times.
But at this point, I don’t really have a choice. I’m about to have no bed at all.
Both of the two times I went mattress shopping I pretty much hated everything. (And the more comfort layer material it had, the more I hated it. It felt mushy, and my spine didn’t feel remotely aligned – my lumbar and the area between my shoulder blades especially. (The two areas that never fit right on an off the shelf shirt actually. Weird how I didn’t make this connection earlier.)
The first mattress I bought was the bottom of the barrel Select Comfort (before they became Sleep Number). The mattress is just the air bladder. I used it at almost completely full (north of a 90 on a number bed). I only let out just enough air to get proper spinal alignment (which it easily gives me). I slept great on it. I’m sleeping on it right now and it’s still good despite being 20 years old.
But it’s finally starting to wear out and needs refilling and resetting every day to stay comfortable. I need to buy a new bed before I can’t sleep on it through the night.
The second mattress I bought was a pure natural latex from Habitat Furnishings when they were here in New Orleans. I got the one with the softer comfort layer. This was the first foam mattress that I liked. It wasn’t ideal, but I couldn’t find anything even remotely close.
However, as soon as it wasn’t absolutely new, the spinal alignment stopped being good and kept getting worse. Despite regularly rotation and my best efforts to put my weight in different paces, the area around my hips, glutes, and quads has no support at all now. Where my shoulders and head are might as well be new.
It was good for about 4 years, worked okay for another 3, and has been shot for the last 2+. I held off doing anything until it was totally unusable, then swapped back to the Select Comfort. And now that it’s dying I’ve got to buy something.
I slept on a Casper at an airBnB recently. It was fantastic, but it was also brand new. So I doubt it will last. I have a buckling column pillow from Purple that I absolutely love. But I have no clue how long it will last and I’m not convinced that any bed I’ve seen with that material has enough support to not crap out and turn into a huge waste of money.
So what do you guys recommend I do?
I’ll go through my preferences per Phoenix’s post. I’m hoping you can give me better options. But my current thinking is to maybe buy bed in a box mattresses knowing they won’t last and will need to be replaced.
Alternatively, I know that I get good spinal alignment without pressure on a bare air-bladder. So I could buy a high quality version of that. If there’s a model that let’s you add and remove a very thick comfort layer (of varying thicknesses), then I can try different options knowing that I can replace them as they wear out and that I can go back to the bare bladder if it doesn’t work.
As for my preferences:
I sleep hot as-is. New Orleans is a hot, humid swamp and AC systems struggle to keep up. I want something that breaths cool. (And advice on the bedding to go with the bed is appreciated.)
I prefer fast response materials. I love the bounce of the casper and latex; I hate memory foam. I want something toward the top end of the range.
I absolutely want to sleep on the mattress instead of in.
I don’t really care much about motion isolation. I don’t even know why I should care.
I’d love for something that would let me move around like a normal person while I was asleep. I’d especially like to try side sleeping. I’m pretty sure I want ease of movement for “other activities” as well, unless “movement restriction” implies something directly related to them. (But I’d think that would be more a matter of the frame.)
Moderate edge support is enough. But I didn’t like how the latex basically disppeared when I sat on the edge. The Casper was fine at this. I don’t need what you get with an airbed.
I don’t know what “roll together” is. But I’d like to be able to sleep at any part of the mattress the center included.
I’m not sure about “feel” beyond my not ever having tried a spring-based mattress and liked it.
I want quality, durability, and performance. As long as it’s not so expensive that I’m better off buying something disposable, I’m willing to pay more up front to make it last longer. I’m also willing to pay all the way to the top end to get something that sleeps better if it’s going to last long enough to not be a huge waste of money.
In principle, I’d like to be able to change out layers and otherwise make changes and replace things. I like the security of knowing that I can swap out the pieces as they wear out without having to get a whole new thing. I can do without this if I’m really getting something significant out of it.
I want a solid warranty. If I’m paying a ton for it, I damned well expect to get my money’s worth. I don’t need financing or the other value add stuff.
And I already said that I’m willing to pay. The site says that $3k is about maxed out. I’d go higher if it really meant getting something I’m happy with and confident isn’t going to be a waste of money. But if I can buy a cheap mattress every few years and come out ahead, so be it.
I’m not sure what you mean by price vs quality and “commodity” value beyond that.
I like the zero g position you can get with an adjustable frame. I can sleep great in a quality recliner after a hard day. And that’s a similar position. (If anyone knows how to buy a recliner that doesn’t also give out, I’d like that advice. Hell, I’d buy the recliner and just have the bed for “other activities” if need be.)
I can’t stand the weight of the Latex mattress. It makes even changing out the sheets a chore. And I like to redecorate. I’d rather that be a one man job. I’ll tolerate the weight if it gets me the rest, but all else equal, less weight is better.
Since I like sleeping on a bare air mattress, “Very firm” is fine. Spinal alignment is usually a huge problem though. And I’ve been fine with softer when the alignment was good. (The new Casper, the new Latex one.) So I probably don’t have a good sense of preference here.
I don’t care about natural vs. synthetic. I care about the feel and the quality.
I don’t have enough experience with cover and quilting to say. I did have allergies as a kid. Because I tend to sleep hot, I’d like something that isn’t going to get stained by my sweat or trap my body odor if I’m too drained to take a shower after practice going until 11pm.
As far as the who I’m buying from and services they offer questions. I’m flexible. I don’t want to spend a ton of time going back and forth or traveling. Ideally, I’d just order online. But my situation is complicated enough that I’m willing to go to a store and work with a knowledgeable person if it gets better results and doesn’t become aggravating.
I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this and offer some constructive advice. I’m at a real loss as to how to handle this.
