Just want to sleep

I haven’t slept well in almost 6 years. I’ve tried a lot of mattresses and every single one always eventually collapses. I’m very sure I’m close to solving this but it’s still disheartening that those around me just don’t understand what I’m going through and say it’s not because of sleep or these unsupportive mattresses.

Recently my body has finally had enough that a medical scare occurred and the effects still continue. I’m sure its because of sleep and incompatible mattresses.

Anyways, I’m 5’10, 135lbs, average shoulders, narrow waist. However, my weight distribution is all in my hips. Every single mattress eventually gets sunk because of my hips which leaves me hammocking. My upper body barely sinks. I am a back sleeper.

The only time I got good sleep during those years was purchasing a shikibuton cot. I slept on a twin foundation and it was close to how I remember waking up with decent sleep. After two days, it was back to pain. My hips sunk the cotton and they wouldn’t fluff back up. I need something that does not give into my anchor weight narrow hips, yet is soft and lets my upper back rest, while maybe lifting my legs up since the shikibuton somewhat did that.

I tried doing some research on latex but am still unsure. Would it be naive to buy multiple latex toppers then stacking them instead of a latex mattress (to save money)? Ever since the medical scare/persistent issues life has been even worse everyday.

Any advice or insight would save my life literally. Thank you.

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You could stack the latex layers, but a latex hybrid usually performs better for most. Look for something that has both a medium layer and a soft layer on top of the springs.

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First off, I’m really sorry to hear how long you’ve been dealing with this. Poor sleep over an extended period can absolutely affect both physical and mental well-being, and when your body is constantly fighting improper support night after night, it can become incredibly frustrating and discouraging.

From what you described, it actually sounds less like you need an ultra-soft mattress and more like you need a sleep surface that can maintain proper alignment specifically under your hips without creating pressure or tension elsewhere. Since you are a back sleeper with most of your weight concentrated through a narrower hip area, you are essentially creating a concentrated “anchor point” in the center of the mattress. Many conventional foam mattresses — especially softer memory foams and lower-density materials — will gradually allow that area to settle more deeply over time, which then causes the hammocking effect you mentioned.

One thing that stands out to me is that you experienced some improvement on the shikibuton before the cotton compressed. That suggests your body may actually respond better to a flatter, firmer, more stable support surface underneath, with only a modest amount of surface cushioning on top.

Latex may indeed be worth considering for you because it behaves very differently from cotton, memory foam, or conventional polyfoam. Latex is much more resilient and “pushes back” against weight instead of allowing the heavier parts of the body to continually sink deeper over time. It is one of the few materials that can simultaneously provide support and contouring without easily developing body impressions.

As for your question about stacking latex toppers instead of buying a full mattress — no, that is not naive at all. In fact, many all-latex mattresses are essentially individual latex layers stacked inside a zippered cover. Functionally, that is very similar. The important part is choosing the correct firmness levels and total thickness so the layers work together properly.

Given your build and sleeping style, I would personally lean away from very thick soft comfort layers. I suspect you may do better with:

  • A firmer support layer underneath to prevent your hips from sinking excessively
  • A thinner softer comfort layer on top for pressure relief through your upper back and shoulders
  • A flatter, more level overall sleeping posture

You may even benefit from a setup that feels “firmer than expected” initially but keeps your spine in a more neutral position throughout the night.

Another thing worth mentioning: your foundation or base matters tremendously with latex. Because latex conforms closely to whatever is underneath it, even a slightly flexing or uneven foundation can contribute to the kind of hammocking you’re describing.

I also want to gently mention that while a mattress can absolutely contribute to pain, fatigue, inflammation, and poor recovery, persistent or worsening symptoms — especially after a medical scare — deserve continued attention from a healthcare professional as well. Sometimes sleep posture and physical issues feed into each other in a cycle, and addressing both together tends to lead to the best outcomes.

You are not crazy for continuing to search for answers here. Sleep systems are highly individual, and based on your description, your body may simply be more sensitive to alignment changes than most people’s.

I hope some of this helps point you in a better direction.

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Shawn,

I appreciate all the information you provided. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I’m looking into latex and curious if there is truly a difference between dunlop and talalay.

Is it worth considering zoned latex sections or a simple stack starting with firm at the bottom, medium top, then a soft latex (talalay?). What about the inches 2 vs 3?

I recently went and tried latex mattresses and I think it’s in the right direction. It’s all a matter of tweaking how it interacts with my body. One particular set up surprisingly was from bottom to top: 5in Firm, 3in Medium and somehow a 1 inch soft latex on top that seemed promising.

I’ve seen medical professionals and they’ve deemed that everything looks normal. Currently seeing a PT but I think everything correlates with poor sleep/poor alignment in bed.

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We tried zoned layers maybe 20 years ago and found that they’re not really needed if you get the right combination of firmnesses and the right combination of Talalay and Dunlop. If you’re interested in getting an all-latex mattress, I’d recommend the 10" organic with soft Talalay over medium Dunlop over firm Dunlop, all 3" layers. The top Talalay layer should provide all the contour and pressure relief needed to avoid any pressure point issues and will add secondary support to the mattress. Secondary support is needed to fill in the gaps between your body and the mattress – back sleepers normally need secondary support to fill in the gaps between the small of their back and the mattress; side sleepers normally need secondary support to fill in the gaps between their mid-section and the mattress, and stomach sleepers normally need this under their belly or in their upper shoulder / clavicle area. If these parts of a person’s body aren’t supported by the mattress, their muscles will work throughout the night to hold these parts of the body up, and by the time they wake up they’ve got back pain. So the top 3” of Talalay latex will provide contour, pressure relief, and secondary support. The remaining Dunlop layers should provide all the support needed to maintain proper spinal alignment and avoid back pain. Please keep in mind that our initial recommendations have a 90% success rate (we only have a 10% layer exchange rate and a 3%-4% return rate) so there’s a 90% chance that the above recommendation works perfectly for you.

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Appreciate the response. I actually just bought one from your site. I’ll provide an update once it comes and I’ve had it for a week or so.

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Well thank you so much for the order! Let us know how it goes and let me know if you need anything, we’re always happy to help!

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I have latex and in my experience it never “collapses.” I had my previous latex mattress for 18 years and it never sank. If anything, it was still too firm (it was “medium”). I changed because I downsized and needed a new mattress. My current latex mattress is 2 years old. It has the set-up recommended here: 3 layers of 3" each (S/M/F). I don’t think 2" are enough. I agree that you have to have a very firm foundation for the mattress.

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5/30 update - Mattress should’ve gotten here few days ago but it looks like FedEx is delaying shipment of the last half.

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Any update? I would really like to know because I was in the same situation as you I was sleeping on a Shiki Bhutan, and it was literally the best sleep of my life, but it started to break down and got more and more uncomfortable to the point where I am back on my Sleep Number bed at 100 firmness and absolutely hate it.! curious to see your input and I am also curious to see what layers you purchased and in which configuration

Hey. My final half finally came. It took a while since FedEx did not send it the first time. Tonight will be the first night. I bought a 10” latex mattress with all split layers. I just inputted my weight and height as well as my partners and they automatically suggested the layers.

This journey is a difficult nightmare man. I’ll update you after a week or two.

All the best.

Thank you so much. I am leaning towards Arizona premium Mattress after speaking with Ken the owner for over 30 minutes and having him help me narrow down the best floor feeling latex set up while having a cloud like softness for my partner and I think we came up with a pretty good set up using his ultra plush 14 ILD latex for her and I didn’t even know it went that soft

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Hi Shawn,

Any suggestions or next steps if my hips are going down more than my upper back causing the same issue on the 10” soft talalay, medium Dunlop and firm Dunlop setup? Maybe a medium talalay would be better?

Thanks

My advice is to rearrange the layers to soft Talalay over firm Dunlop over medium Dunlop, and if you’re still sinking in too much, then a medium Talalay layer for exchange will probably be the best choice.

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I just tried it and unfortunately my small waist literally still shoots straight down. I do feel that the firm Dunlop stops it but I still don’t have support for my hip.

Then try just the medium on top of the firm, and the medium on top of firm on top of soft.

Medium dunlop does feel a little more firm than talalay, and you having only one medium layer on top of the firm will also be more firm than two medium layers on top of the firm, but that will tell you if just softening up the 2 layer build just a touch, but not as soft as it has been, will be an improvement or not

Hi. I just tried it and it’s more supportive but slightly doesn’t conform too well. I know that after a while my body will be irritated. My body type is an inverted triangle that’s sensitive unfortunately. I just ordered medium talalay to swap with the soft

I think that should work. I was 215 pounds when i put a medium dunlop for the top layer of my diy bed. It did feel a touch annoying and firm, to where a 2" of soft dunlop would have been acceptable.

Appreciate the information. Hope this medium talalay works out. I’ll provide an update when it comes and hopefully it’s supportive enough

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6/20/26 - Update, yeah still sleeping poorly. My hips still sink lower than my body. 3in medium talalay, 3in medium dunlop, and 3in firm dunlop doesn’t seem to work. I’m gonna try swapping the medium dunlop for the firm dunlop and will provide an update.