Wife is 5’7 160 lbs BMI: 25.1, I’m 5’8 175 BMI: 26.6. Wife is a side / stomach sleeper, and I am purely a back sleeper. Looking for something durable, king sized and would ideally cool us as we both sleep very hot. She tends to like firm, while I like very firm. Looking for recommendations on where to start, hoping to keep it between 3-5k.Neither of us have sleep apnea or any other health issues.
Hi @LinuxPoser
You have come to the right place to explore the world of mattresses! Have you ever tried a 100% organic latex mattress? These tend to be naturally cooler and more breathable, especially when paired with wool as the batting in the cover. Dunlop latex is a very popular option for durability, and in most cases these mattresses will have multiple layers, not glued together, so that you can make adjustments if necessary.
Based on your specifications, I would recommend a 9-11" 100% latex mattress, that has majority Firm latex layers, with a 2" layer on top of Soft for a light pressure relief. Many retailers can even customize each side for you, so that you could have your side slightly firmer than your wife! Win for everyone!
Perhaps there is a local retailer that has this available for you both to try? Or you can contact one of the members on this platform directly 
, all of us are very knowledgeable in mattresses and are eager to help one to find their dream sleep system!
Laura ~ Founder & CEO. Sunshine Mattress Co
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Hi Linuxposer and welcome to the forums! I hope you don’t mind if I chime in with my opinion, but I think you would do great an a layered, all-latex mattress like the one we sell at Sleep EZ (https://sleepez.com/products/organic-latex-mattress/). The organic and natural mattresses (the Select Sleep mattresses) are our flagship products. They’re fully customizable, meaning you can order the mattress to be as soft or as firm as you’d like. They’re also fully adjustable, meaning you can change the softness, firmness, back support, pressure relief, etc. AFTER you get the mattress in your home. To be more specific, the 10" is our most popular, and these mattresses normally go out with three 3" layers of different firmnesses - normally the softest layer (or the cushion & contour layer) is on top and the supportive layers are on the bottom. This helps ensure our customers get the right balance of contour for their hips and shoulders but also support for their lower back. If you start with a certain setup and find that it’s too soft, you can unzip the cover and rearrange the layers to get a firmer feel out of the mattress, or you can exchange a layer to make it softer. Additionally, latex mattresses typically last 20 years. If, in 5 or 10 or 15 years you decide you want a softer or firmer mattress you would only have to buy a new layer instead of an entirely new mattress. Lastly, if the mattress starts to break down in 15 – 20 years, it’s normally the top layer that breaks down first, and at that point you can likely just buy a new top layer of latex instead of a whole new mattress and get an additional 8-10 years out of the mattress.
Furthermore, queen, king, and cal king mattresses are available with what we call “split layers,” which means you can have us cut the layers down the middle (from head to foot) so that you can have a different feel / firmness on your side versus your partner’s side, and you can adjust each side independently over the 20 year lifetime of the mattress. About 95% of our mattresses go out with all split layers from top to bottom, and we get zero complaints on being able to feel the split and we get zero complaints about the layers shifting or anything like that, even if you sleep right on the middle of the mattress.
Although it’s not likely that you’ll need to rearrange layers or exchange layers, you certainly have the option to adjust the mattress according to you and your partner’s specific needs and preferences, both in the short-term and long-term. We have a 90 day exchange and return period, so you can exchange a layer within the first 90 days for a flat-rate $30 fee for the first exchange and the full cost of shipping for any subsequent exchanges. We will ship your layers first, and we will ship them with extra plastic that you can use to package your current layers, and we will ship it with a pre-paid Fed Ex return label. Also, if you will please call us when you are ready to ship your layers back we will schedule a free Fed Ex pick up for you. You will have 30 days after its arrival to return a layer of your choosing, so you’ll have plenty of time to try a few different combinations with the layers you have now and the layer we will be sending you so that you can get your comfort and support levels just right.
Based on just your heights and weights, we would normally recommend our 10" organic latex mattress with soft Talalay for the top layer, medium Dunlop for the middle layer, and firm Dunlop for the bottom layer. However, given your preferences for firm and extra firm mattresses, I think your partner would be fine on medium over firm over extra firm, and you firm/extra firm/extra firm.
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Thanks for the info guys. I was pretty sold on talalay and dunlop after the guide to buying mattresses. I noticed you both suggested all latex mattresses, but I was curious why I notice some people using spring layers when building their own DIY mattresses. Is it something specific to their BMI / sleeping style? or is it only really used in other mediums?
Hello there! You had asked about people using spring layers. Perhaps they like the traditional feel of springs or are trying to mimic a hybrid mattress, which is often latex over springs. I’ve heard it said that latex has more of a cradling effect; adding springs may make it firmer. But latex, especially dunlop, can also be very firm.
It depends on your preferences as to what you like for feel.