Hi joeandlester and thanks for the inquiry, welcome to the forums, and congratulations on the marriage! You might want to consider the 10” organic latex mattress from Sleep EZ - https://sleepez.com/product/organic-latex-mattress/ Latex is all-natural and organic, and it’s certified against harmful chemicals and off-gassing, and it last just about forever. The organic and natural mattresses (the Select Sleep mattresses) are our flagship products. They’re fully customizable, meaning you can order the mattress to be as soft or as firm as you’d like. They’re also fully adjustable, meaning you can change the softness, firmness, back support, pressure relief, etc. AFTER you get the mattress in your home. To be more specific, the 10” is our most popular, and these mattresses normally go out with three 3" layers of different firmnesses - normally the softest layer (or the cushion & contour layer) is on top and the supportive layers are on the bottom. This helps ensure our customers get the right balance of contour for their hips and shoulders but also support for their lower back. If you start with a certain setup and find that it’s too soft, you can unzip the cover and rearrange the layers to get a firmer feel out of the mattress, or you can exchange a layer to make it softer. Additionally, latex mattresses typically last 20 years. If, in 5 or 10 or 15 years you decide you want a softer or firmer mattress you would only have to buy a new layer instead of an entirely new mattress. Lastly, if the mattress starts to break down in 15 – 20 years, it’s normally the top layer that breaks down first, and at that point you can likely just buy a new top layer of latex instead of a whole new mattress and get an additional 8-10 years out of the mattress.
Furthermore, queen, king, and cal king mattresses are available with what we call “split layers,” which means you can have us cut the layers down the middle (from head to foot) so that you can have a different feel / firmness on your side versus your partner’s side, and you can adjust each side independently over the 20 year lifetime of the mattress. About 95% of our mattresses go out with all split layers from top to bottom, and we get zero complaints on being able to feel the split and we get zero complaints about the layers shifting or anything like that, even if you sleep right on the middle of the mattress.
Based on the information you’ve provided, I would recommend soft Talalay for the top layer, medium Dunlop for the middle layer, and medium Dunlop for the bottom layer of her side of the mattress and medium Talalay for the top layer, medium Dunlop for the middle layer, and firm Dunlop for the bottom layer of her side of the mattress. Please note that our initial recommendations have a 90% success rate (we only have a 10% layer exchange rate) so there’s a 90% chance that the recommendation turns out to be your perfect setup!
Although it’s not likely that you’ll need to rearrange layers or exchange layers, you certainly have the option to adjust the mattress according to you and your partner’s specific needs and preferences, both in the short-term and long-term. We have a 90 day exchange and return period, so you can exchange a layer within the first 90 days for a flat-rate $30 fee for the first exchange and the full cost of shipping for any subsequent exchanges. We will ship your layers first, and we will ship them with extra plastic that you can use to package your current layers, and we will ship it with a pre-paid Fed Ex return label. Also, if you will please call us when you are ready to ship your layers back we will schedule a free Fed Ex pick up for you. You will have 30 days after its arrival to return a layer of your choosing, so you’ll have plenty of time to try a few different combinations with the layers you have and the layer we will be sending you so that you can get your comfort and support levels just right.