Hi Alsabrook,
It sounds like you may need to “reset” how you are looking for a mattress and there will be a lot of information in this reply and you will have some reading to do before you continue your search.
While I can certainly help with “how” to choose … It’s not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or combinations of materials or components because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more reliable than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).
I’m not sure what you’ve read since you found the site but just in case you haven’t read it yet … the first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well he will sleep), durability (how long he will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).
While again nobody can speak to how any specific mattress will “feel” for someone else or whether it will be a good “match” in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP because this is too subjective and relative to different body types, sleeping positions, and individual preferences, sensitivities, and circumstances and you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress … outside of PPP (which is the most important part of “value”), the next most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you can’t see or “feel” and assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.
The major brands such as Sealy/Stearns & Foster, Simmons, and Serta all tend to use lower quality and less durable materials in their mattresses than most of their smaller competitors that will tend to soften or break down prematurely relative to the price you pay which is why I would generally suggest avoiding all of them completely (along with the major retailers that focus on them as well) regardless of how they may feel in a showroom along with avoiding any mattress where you aren’t able to find out the type and quality/durability of the materials inside it (see the guidelines here along with post #3 here and post #12 here and post #404 here).
Unlike the other major brands … for the most part Tempurpedic uses good quality materials in their mattresses but there are certainly other local and online options that would be better quality/value choices than Tempurpedic which tend to be significantly overpriced compared to other memory foam mattresses that use similar quality/density materials that may be just as suitable, just as durable, and better “value” choices (see post #2 here). With Tempurpedic you are paying a significant premium for the name on the label which has little to nothing to do with the quality and durability of the materials or how well you will sleep on a mattress.
Since your BMI is probably over 30 there is more information in post #3 here and the posts it links to that would be helpful for those that are in higher weight ranges or have a higher BMI and you would need to make sure that the materials and components in your mattress meet the durability guidelines I linked earlier in this reply relative to your BMI range.
While the process of how to choose a mattress would involve the same steps that are listed in the mattress shopping tutorial … most people in higher weight ranges or that have a higher BMI will generally need or prefer firmer mattresses (firmer materials will feel softer because you will sink into them more) and materials and components that are higher quality and more durable than those that are in lower weight or BMI ranges (the materials and components in a mattress will soften and break down faster for those in higher weight ranges than they will for someone that is in a lower weight range that doesn’t compress the mattress as much). I would be particularly cautious about mattresses that use more than “about an inch or so” of memory foam that is less than about 5 lb density or polyfoam that is less than about 2 lb density … particularly in the upper layers of the mattress (which are usually the weakest link in terms of the durability and useful life of a mattress).
While the Nest Alexander would be a good quality/value choice for many people … I would avoid it in your weight/BMI range because the the foam layers are a lower density than I would suggest in your weight/BMI range. I would also be careful with a soft choice because with your higher weight there would be a much higher risk that you will end up sleeping out of alignment over the course of the night and good spinal alignment is the single most important factor in how well your body will be able to rest and recover over the course of the night.
Like all the major brands … I would also avoid the Sealy Cocoon because they don’t disclose the density of the foam in their mattress but even if they did they would also be lower density than I would suggest for your body weight.
The Christeli mattresses use foam densities that would be suitable for your weight/BMI range and there are no lower quality materials or weak links in their mattresses relative to your BMI but the only way to know for certain how well you will sleep on any mattress that you haven’t tried in person will be based on your own careful testing or your own personal experience when you sleep on it so I would keep in mind that Christeli only offers a 50 day exchange policy that allows you to make a single exchange for one of their other mattresses and unlike many other online choices they don’t offer the option to return the mattress for a refund if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for.
When you can’t test a mattress in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and “feel” of the materials they are using (fast or slow response, resilience, firmness etc) and the options they have available that may be the best “match” for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.
Every good online retailer or manufacturer will generally make suggestions that they honestly believe have the best chance of success based on the information you provide them when you talk to them on the phone because this is in both your own and their best interests but again … at the end of the day the only way to know for certain whether any specific mattress is a good match for you in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP will be based on your own careful testing and/or your own personal experience so if you can’t test a specific mattress in person then the options you have available after a purchase to either exchange the mattress or individual layers or components or return the mattress for a refund (and any costs involved) would generally become a more important part of your personal value equation just in case a mattress you purchase doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for.
While it’s not possible to quantify or predict the sleeping temperature of a mattress for any particular person with any real accuracy because there are so many variables involved including the type of mattress protector and the sheets and bedding that you use (which in many cases can have just as significant an effect on temperature as the type of foam in a mattress) and on where you are in the “oven to iceberg” range and because there is no standardized testing for temperature regulation with different combinations of materials … there is more about the many variables that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress or sleeping system in post #2 here that can help you choose the types of materials and components that are most likely to keep you in a comfortable temperature range.
In very general terms … the layers and components of a sleeping system that are closer to your skin will have a bigger effect on airflow, moisture wicking, and temperature regulation than layers and components that are further away from your skin and softer mattresses will tend to be more “insulating” and tend to sleep warmer than firmer mattresses. Memory foam or gel memory foam will also tend to sleep warmer than other types of foam materials such as polyfoam and latex (which in general is the most breathable and temperature neutral of the foam materials).
The “hand feel” of most gel memory foams will be noticeably cooler than regular memory foam and they can provide some cooling benefits when you first go to sleep at night but temperatures will tend to equalize over time at which point the insulating properties of the memory foam will become dominant. The amount and type of gel in the foam can affect whether the temperature benefits will last longer or shorter and the cell structure and amount of airflow through foam will also play a very significant role in reducing heat buildup in the material but in general terms … gel memory foam can sleep a little cooler than regular memory foam when you are first going to sleep at night but in most cases the benefits of the gel tend to be temporary and don’t normally last over the course of the night.
If you are also interested in local options that you can test in person before a purchase then if you let me know your city or zip code I’d be happy to let you know about the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area.
In its simplest form … choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to FIRST finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers (either locally or online) that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in that are in a budget range you are comfortable with and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then …
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Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.
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Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress you are considering relative to your weight/BMI range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress (see the durability guidelines here).
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Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.
Phoenix