Newbie - please help - SO confused

Hello,

I’m sorry if this is not the correct place for this. I am just so incredibly lost. By the time I found the mattress buying tutorial it was already too late - I’ve already over analyzed and confused the heck out of myself.
Could someone please point me in the right direction?

Some info:
We currently have a Nectar and it’s sinking horribly. We can’t stand it. I really just want to burn it haha

Sleeper 1 - mainly side and back sleeper, sometimes/rarely stomach.
Weight 220-230lbs
height 5’8
has undiagnosed chronic back pain, and shoulder + hip pain from side sleeping on current mattress that goes away shortly after moving or waking up.

Sleeper 2: mainly back and side sleeper.
Weight: 215-225lbs
height 5’10
Some body pain from current mattress

Our dog (90lbs) also sleeps in bed with us, as does our 20lb cat.
Occasionally our son (currently 25lbs) also sleeps with us, although only about 2-3 hours a night

Absolute max budget is $1600. Would prefer not to go over $1500 if possible.

We were looking at big fig, but we both lost weight and I think that MAY be too firm now. If we were to get it maybe add a 2in latex topper?
Now, I’m thinking latex hybrid might be good, but we have never tried/felt/laid on a latex mattress.

But I really do not know.

We definitely do not want to “put together” a bed and need to be moving around layers (although I understand this will get us the most personalized option).

Can someone please help?

Thanks so much in advance!

Hi Mama1989,

Welcome to the Mattress UnderGround Forum and thank you for the question and becoming an affectionately known “MUGster.”

You have definitely come to the right place. The Mattress UnderGround is dedicated to helping confused sleepers make better decisions when perusing their mattress purchase.

A key concept when searching for a mattress is to understand your PPP’s (Posture & Alignment, Pressure Relief, and Personal Preferences).

Based on the information provided, you would be considered plus-sized sleepers, which means you’ll need a mattress that offers exceptional support. For those new to mattress shopping, it’s helpful to understand that mattress design generally consists of three primary components: the support layer, comfort layer, and cover or panel layer. Each of these layers plays an important role in ensuring the mattress provides the right balance of comfort and support for a restful night’s sleep.

While it might seem a bit daunting to rearrange a layer or two in a mattress, there’s no need to worry about going down that path if you choose to. In most cases, it’s a simple process that only requires minor adjustments, if any at all. One of the great benefits of working with the Trusted Members here at TMU is that their collaboration with sleepers or couples consistently results in a success rate of over 90%, so you can be confident you’re in good hands. Furthermore, the customized services they offer don’t come with the high costs typically associated with such options. And yes, there are some great on-line BiB options out there too that are capable of meeting those requirements, without the worry about having to delve into swapping layers or minor modifications. So, success can be achieved both ways provided you scrutinize the materials, layers, foams, and springs being chosen for the mattress you select.

Some of the options you have mentioned.

  • Latex Hybrid: This could be a great choice! Latex mattresses are known for their durability, responsiveness, and excellent pressure relief, especially for side sleepers. A hybrid (with coils) will give you extra support, which is important for your combined weight. They tend to have a slightly bouncier feel, which could be great for preventing the mattress from sinking too much under your weight.
  • Firmness: Since you were considering the Big Fig (which is very firm), it’s good to hear that you’re rethinking it. If you’re looking for something a bit softer but still supportive, a medium-firm latex hybrid could work really well for both of you.
  • Latex Mattress Layers: If you were thinking about adding a latex topper to a firmer mattress, that’s definitely an option, but a latex hybrid could simply provide the right balance of firmness and comfort without needing extra layers. Although a topper does have its place in a mattress system.

There are different philosophies on how to use a topper. I am a big fan of toppers. A mattress topper can serve in the important role of absorbing the initial impact of your body weight, providing an additional layer of cushioning and comfort. This helps reduce the strain on the base mattress, potentially extending its lifespan by preventing premature wear and sagging. If the topper begins to wear out over time or if your comfort preferences change, you can simply replace the topper rather than investing in a whole new mattress, offering a cost-effective solution for maintaining a comfortable sleep experience. Others might suggest that “why would you need a topper if the mattress was made appropriately in the first place.” While there may be some logic to this, many very high end super expensive mattresses are actually designed around using a topper as a part of the build and construction process.

When looking at mattress options, there are many companies out there that offer fancy marketing, and is some cases are just that, “marketing companies” posing as mattress manufacturers, using lower quality foams, and the components are made in numerous random factories overseas, often with varying levels of quality control, resulting in a mattress model that might feel one way in one showroom, and quite different in another, and yet again differently when you get it home. So a word of caution on these types of foreign made mattress options. Mattress brands such as Millbrook, ViSpring, Savoir, and some better known hand made brands made or designed overseas, offer a different level of engineering and quality, so they would certainly be excluded from that foreign made mattress caution.

When considering memory foam mattresses, we recommend that the foam density should be at least 3 lbs, with the ideal range being 4 to 5 lbs. For HD polyfoams, the minimum density should be 1.8 lbs, and for plus-sized sleepers, a higher density may be preferable. While you might find base layers with 1.5 lb density under the spring support system, this is still considered acceptable.

Spring gauges are a more nuanced component. Generally, a thicker gauge, especially in the plus-sized mattress market, indicates a firmer mattress designed to offer stronger support. You will typically find gauges in the mid-12g to high-13g range. However, the overall construction is the most important factor when choosing a mattress.

For those who prefer the buoyant and supportive feel of latex, all-latex options with the right density and ILD (Indentation Load Deflection) measurements can provide excellent support and balance for plus-sized sleepers, or any sleeper, for that matter.

It’s also important to avoid mattresses with more than 1.5" of lower-quality foams. As the saying goes, “A mattress is only as good as its weakest layer.” Your experience with the Nectar mattress highlights this concept—one bad layer or component, whether in the mattress or the foundation, can cause the entire mattress to deteriorate quickly.

Remember, when purchasing a mattress, you are not just buying for comfort alone. The foundation is a key element that you should not skimp on. Additionally, pillow selection plays a major role in creating a comfortable sleep environment. As your mattress gets firmer, side sleepers, in particular, will need a higher loft pillow to keep the neck, head, and spine properly aligned. The same principles apply for back and stomach sleepers as well.

he Big Fig you mentioned is a popular choice in the marketplace, but many online reviews indicate that side sleepers find it uncomfortable. While it is marketed for plus-sized sleepers, back and stomach sleepers generally seem to fare better than those who occasionally sleep on their side.

Among other plus-sized mattress options, the Brooklyn Bedding Plank Luxe, Titan Plus, Helix Plus, and Nolah Evolution Comfort Plus are better choices from the Bed-in-a-Box (BiB) category. These mattresses feature firm support with 13.5g springs and offer various comfort layers to suit back, stomach, and combination sleepers. These options provide a straightforward ordering process without the need to swap out layers.

However, the Brooklyn Bedding Plank Luxe does have a unique feature: it can be flipped, with one side offering a firmness of approximately ~9/10 and the other around ~8/10, allowing you to choose the level of firmness that suits you best.

When it comes to some of the Trusted Members here, in your price range, @DLX, @EngineeredSleep, @BackScience and @any of our latex manufacturers such as @Arizona_Premium, @Latex_Mattress_Fact1, @Sleep_EZ, can create a suitable mattress if the feel of latex strikes your comfort level as they are all capable of creating any feel and comfort you prefer and keep you within your budget.

Although, it may seem like a confusing proposition, with a bit of help you can quickly narrow your choices down to a select few. I know it doesnt seem that way after this lengthy post. I started the process of selecting a new mattress about 3 years ago, although my budget was quite a bit more than yours, I actually ended up with a mattress below your budget. It was a long story how I got there, but through careful thought and the process of elimination, the result will come more quickly than you think.

All the best and we are here to answer any very targeted questions,

Maverick

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Maverick had a lot of great things to contribute there, but I will also add-in that this is an issue that I have seen with many similar mattress brands, since any mattress that is softer than what your body type will allow for, certainly poses the risk of not supporting you properly. Too firm on the other hand and you are correct that it can cause pressure points in the hips and shoulders. It is definitely something that I have seen quite frequently over the 20+ years I have been designing mattresses and one that really feel like I have solved for many customers. Hybrids can be the best mattress to address the low back, while still reducing pressure in the shoulders and middle to upper spine, but not all are created equal. As a Doctor of Chiropractic, I have always wanted to ensure that any mattress I design will offer pressure relief and to do that properly, the mattress has to contour your body. Unfortunately, most of the time that leads to a hammocking of the low back and hips, since that is the heaviest area of most individuals.

With the Back Science mattress, I helped create a special interlocking specially zoned Lumbar-Flex support and I have been able to test and verify that it really does work to produce the most optimal alignment thanks to hundreds of customers that I have measured using the Mattress Checker sleep posture App. In your case, I would recommend the Back Science Essentials, which is close to $1000, so it won’t strain the budget, but it does have all the traits that suit what you are looking for, with a more luxury firmness that will support the back, while offering full contouring and comfort for the shoulders and hips.

Either way, please note that while a recent survey we had Trust Pilot run found that 97% of our Back Science mattress customers felt that the Back Science mattress reduced their back pain, we also have 365 Night comfort guarantee, with completely free customizations. So, you don’t have to just discard the mattress if it does not work the first time and those comfort or firmness adjustments usually work perfectly when needed. I hope that helps, but feel free to let me know if you have any additional questions whatsoever and if you do purchase, be sure to use the TMU10 discount to save an additional 10 percent as a Mattress Underground member.

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@Maverick and @BackScience Thank you so much for your detailed replies!!! These helped A LOT. I ended up buying the BackScience Essentials. Eventually, we would love to buy the Series 2 Hybrid. It sounds literally perfect for us. Just way out of our budget right now.
So far the Essentials has been pretty great. I don’t wake up with my whole body hurting anymore. But I do occasionally get some shoulder pain when sleeping on my side.
Would like to give it the 21 days and see if it gets better, but may have to try the customizing. @BackScience love your sales model! It was what ended up sealing the deal for us!

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Hey Cassie,

It’s wonderful to hear that you’re loving your new mattress overall! I completely understand the occasional shoulder discomfort, especially as you’re adjusting to a new sleeping surface. A few key points might help you as you continue to settle in.

  1. Adjustment Period: Remember that a new mattress is quite different from what you were used to, and it’s perfectly normal for your body to take some time to adapt. It may take a couple of addtional weeks for your muscles and joints to adjust fully, so give it some time. (Believe me I know, as a former athlete, if you have not picked up a baseball bat and taken a couple of swings in years, your back will tell you a painful story after just one or two swings after now having done so in a while.) Your muscles adjusting to a new mattress, albeit a different situation, muscles still need time to adjust to the different position and support. If discomfort persists, we can explore adjustments together, but a little patience can go a long way.
  2. The Importance of a Pillow: When it comes to side sleeping, your pillow plays a key role in keeping everything aligned and supporting your shoulder. It’s often overlooked, but a pillow that’s the right height and maintains its loft throughout the night can make a huge difference. I think Dr. Rick @BackScience would agree, that the right pillow for the job is a key component to completing a comfortable sleep system. I like to think of pillows as “mattresses for our heads” — they need to provide comfort, support, and offer a comfortable surface to rest your head on. The same 3 key features you want from a mattress, support, comfort and cover. If you’re experiencing shoulder pain, I recommend considering a pillow that offers a good balance of firmness and softness. For example, a dual-fill pillow could be great — one with a firmer foam base for support and a softer fill on top for comfort. A latex noodle pillow that’s slightly overfilled can also work well, as long as it compresses to the right height as you sleep, which you can modify with more or less fill, one like the @CozyPure Baa-Noodle or their standard noodle fill is a good option. Although they are fairly generous with the initial fill, I opted to buy additional fill for a nominal cost, and it was a good thing that I did, as for my size and comfort, that extra fill allowed me to add the right amount to find my comfort zone. The Brooklyn Bedding Shredded Foam Pillow is another surprisingly good one for this. It is a very budget friendly pillow, made with a combination of shredded memory and latex foam, plus you can call them after you receive the pillow, and if you need extra fill, they typically send it for free. Although, I am not a huge fan of shredded pillows (unless the cuts are uniform) this pillow was quite impressive. Additionally, wool-filled pillows or other adjustable fill options can help you customize the loft and comfort to your exact needs. Wool is a great fill for those who like a soft initial surface feel, but compresses to a firmer more stable, not bouncy sleep surface.

These small adjustments with your pillow can make a big difference in alleviating shoulder pressure. Let me know if you’d like suggestions for specific pillows that could work for you!

Again, so happy that you are doing great with the new mattress, I am certain that once you get completely get settled in, the whole comfort package will present itself.

Please continue to let us know how your progress is going forward.

Maverick

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I am so glad to hear that the mattress is overall doing very well for you. Can further adjust the firmness if needed, but you are also correct the Series 2 Hybrid does offer next level luxury comfort and pressure relief. Either way, we are here for you if you need anything else whatsoever. Thanks again for the update and sleep well!

Dr. Rick Swartzburg, D.C.

Mama,

I just got my Back Science 2. Very supportive for the back for back sleeping and side sleeping while being so soft and luxurious. “Perfect spinal alignment while sleeping on a cloud” is the way I describe it!

Thank you Dr Rick!

John

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