Seeking guidance for plus size woman who switches sleeping positions

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Hi MU folks! I was a member years ago with an email I no longer have, so new account! At that time, as a result of my research here, I purchased a full latex mattress (king size) from Parklane mattresses. I believe it was called the Rogue. We loved it. Unfortunately, we moved cross-country in the winter, stored our items with the moving company for a month, and by the time we got our goods, the mattress had grown mold. (We think the POD must have gotten damp in the move and then, with no weather control, things went south.) At that time, we got an IKEA mattress because we needed something the same day.

Since then, we have had two Tuft & Needle Mint mattresses (memory foam). We absolutely loved the first one, so we bought a second (and put the first in the guest room of our new place) in 2023. Now we’ve moved back to Portland and the newer mint is killing my back. It has formed divots (not too visible to naked eye), which isn’t surprising given I spent a lot of time in it while waiting for a custom sofa. I also have some pressure/discomfort in my hip related to the mattress (not chronic, only some of the time). I do now support my leg with a pillow to aid with spinal alignment, which helps.

Of note, we are using a cheap but strong metal bedframe, which I know is not ideal, because we have had difficulty locating a bedframe that meets our design requirements. However, we have thin plywood sheets (flexible, not sure of thickness) lying on top of the metal frame, under the mattress. These were recommended by a bed maker we tried. We kept them, but not the bed.

At this point, we are looking for a queen mattress and a new bedframe. In terms of bedframe, I am interested in the Carolina Leg Co Upton bed, but I see that the slats are 3.13" apart, which I think are too far, right? Would a bunky board on top of the slats work? We like Thuma, but I have read the headboard wobbles, and we are not interested in a frame with no headboard or a pillow board.

In terms of a mattress, I am open to latex, having loved the last one, but I feel unclear about which direction to take. It sounds like DLX, Sleep EZ, and other companies may be a good fit? I laid on Avocado mattresses and thought their Green Medium felt fine, but I am not convinced they are better quality than the independent mattress makers, and would support the latter if given a choice. I read about Big Fig and Titan, etc., but am unsure about the gel/plastic in Big Fig, and feel more drawn to try latex again (unless advised otherwise).

My stats:
*50 yo
*5’5" tall
*279 lbs (down from 327, and moving down further)
*tend to sleep on my side, but sometimes on back (never stomach)
*lower back pain
*will sleep alone on this bed (we sleep separately).

So, any guidance for me - particular manufacturer to start with? I am happy to call and chat with someone, but there are so many that sound good and I am unsure where to start.

Thanks again to anyone who has taken the time to read. Happy holidays!

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Welcome back, Find_Calm. Thanks for the question as there is a lot to unpack here.

First: Foundation, the unsung hero of your bedding set-up. Your current metal frame plus thin plywood is very likely contributing to the back pain and “hidden” sagging you’re feeling. For latex or foam, slats should be no more than 3" apart, less is better, with strong center support to the floor. The Carolina Leg Co Upton’s 3.13" spacing is borderline, but it can work if you add a rigid 1.5–2" bunkie board like this (not fabric-only) and confirm solid center support. Getting this right is essential before evaluating any new mattress.

Why the Mint stopped working: Even good memory foam often breaks down faster under higher, concentrated use, especially on a less-than-ideal base. The “divots you can feel but not see,” lower back pain, and hip discomfort are typical signs of foam softening and loss of support. Your instinct to move away from memory foam is sound, and the fact that you loved your prior latex mattress is evidence about what your body likes and responds to. Again, the foundation issue.

Latex is a good match for you: Given your side/back sleeping, lower back pain, and current weight (with more loss ahead), latex offers better long-term support, resilience, and pressure relief than memory foam, when considering the entire picture here. Look for a medium-firm latex build with a thick (6"+) support core or a firm/firm 3" each latex stack, naturally if you go with an independent manufacturer, like those TM’s at TMU that allows for some type layer exchanges. Companies like @Sleep_EZ , @DLX, @Arizona_Premium these folks ship nationwide and are among the best latex specialists and are excellent places to start. Calling and talking through your stats will help them dial in the right firmness. There are other very excellent latex mattress crafters such as @EuropeanSleep and @SDMattressMakers.

I have personally tested Sleepez, DLX and European sleep works, both all latex and latex hybrids.
I am a plus sized person myself, formerly around 260 ( now 220) - 6’. My wife is 5’4 135. I call us “against the rule” sleepers as we are mainly side sleepers and our mattress is about a 9-9.5/10 on the firmness scale. I tend to test a lot of toppers, as I am an advocate that toppers or mattresses that allow for swapping comfort layers can add longevity and customization to a mattress system. Right now my topper is a 3" firm latex topper that is approximately the same ILD as my base mattress’s comfort layer and it is working fine. It is a different feel than lying directly on the same ILD polyfoam, but comfortable none-the-less. I tend to prefer a more robust spring support layer, but some of the latex supported layer mattresses were quite nice, but at the end of the day, I like a spring support.

When you get down to it, you need to fix the foundation first, then go back to latex with a durability-first design. Skip plush builds and marketing-heavy brands; prioritize strong support, adjustability, and materials transparency. With a solid base and a well-chosen latex mattress, you should see meaningful improvement in both back alignment and hip comfort.

I’ll admit that the BB Plank Luxe has been one of the most comfortable mattresses I’ve slept on. I really love the flat, stable surface and the level of support it provides. I’ve also tried the Helix Plus Elite, and if I were to go with a non-latex option or instead of something ultra-luxury like Shifman, Millbrook, or Hastens, the Elite is a very impressive mattress. My mother-in-law previously had the DLX Premier Hybrid, which I also liked quite a bit, and their LatexLux would be a great hybrid option for as well. Two other mattresses that come to mind are the Engineered Sleep Duo Latex or Lift and the @BackScience Backscience2 mattress with their lumbar added feature. The lift and backscience are not latex, but offer unique support qualities that outshine most “marketed” mattresses in the synthetic category out there.

I know there is a lot to take in, I would separate in to a few categories. Latex, Synthetic, Natural and modifiable.

Hope this helps,

Maverick

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Going back to latex is the best choice for both comfort and durability. Memory foam does not hold up well especially for heavier people. Based on your info we have a model that should work well. It’s called the Naturalux which features an all natural Dunlop latex base core and Natural Talalay for the comfort layer. Talalay is superior to dunlop in reducing pressure points which is especially important to side sleepers. I will attach a link for your review and please don’t hesitate to call if interested - All Natural Dunlop / Talalay Combination Latex Mattress, Latex Mattresses-Talalay and Dunlop, All Products,

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Thank you so much @Maverick ! I think you provided a similarly detailed and helpful post years back. I truly appreciate your time and educational info!

@Arizona_Premium - I will look into the mattress you suggested! Thanks for the info. Sounds like I’ve got some calls to make!

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Minor but important point. While slat spacing is important, it isn’t as important as the actual rigidity and strength of the material. You’re better off with 3" of space with an inflexible, strong slat than 2" of space with a 5/8" plywood, or other flimsy material. While center support is the single biggest sag issue, I would say that slat strength is more important than spacing (to a point, obviously). Also, plywood isn’t worth it unless it’s at least 3/4" (you are still losing ventilation). And on a completely different subject, even new mattresses contain a large volume of water, as they will absorb ambient humidity even before they are constructed. If you seal them in a plastic bag and put them somewhere that the temperature fluctuates, you will liquid h2o (which can make mold on the cover). Always use a vented bags if possible, or make a “chimney” and throw some desiccant packs in with the bed :slight_smile:

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One more question @Maverick - I’m back to looking at Thuma after verifying that Carolina Leg Co does not customize their slats, and I would prefer not to add a bunky bed to a platform bed due to concerns about noise (rubbing of bunky vs. plaform bed slats). Thuma states that their slats are <3" apart, 3/4" thick, and 2.75" wide (per slat, per AI). They do have a center support beam and leg. Is this sufficient for my needs? We had a Thuma in a prior home and it felt rock solid with no noise (pillowboard version). I, of course, don’t know if we were unknowingly not providing good support to our mattress?

Also, I am under the impression that a hybrid mattress is likely a good idea for me. I see some latex mattresses are 8"-9", but I suspect with springs and the appropriate latex layers, a good mattress for me will be 12" or over. Any feedback on that?

We would really prefer a wood bed (more modern than rustic) to any sort of metal frame / fabric situation, if at all possible. Our cat will most definitely redecorate anything fabric, and I’m a home design person with a desire for beautiful aesthetics, not that it’s helpful to add another specifier in this search! We are open to a traditional (non-platform) bed + foundation/bunky board if needed (where wood side slats hide most of the bunky/foundation), but would prefer something with a higher headboard so that it would still show with the mattress and pillows installed. If anyone has any suggestions for something like this, I’d love to hear it. I saw a platform bed at Big Fig with seemingly good stats, but their beds are not returnable and I don’t prefer to buy something like that that I can’t see first without a return option.

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Thank you! Interesting that you brought up humidity. We just bought a 1960 ranch in the PNW. Having a whole house dehumidifier installed after the holiday. What do you think about the Thuma specs below?

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The early Thuma beds were a major headache for us as the slats all sagged like crazy. They have improved, but I am still skeptical (especially of a king). If you or someone you know is at all handy, slats can alway be made better, or replaced with better lumber. Bunkie boards tend to be junky too. The Thuma frame is fine (I’ve heard some complaints, but frankly, all beds squeak occasionally), it’s just the slats that are a question mark. On the humidity, a good thing to know is that all foams (and other soft materials) wear faster in humid conditions (sweaty sleepers wear mattresses out faster). :slight_smile:

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So the specs as documented from Thuma are solid, as specs go, but you really have to dig a little deeper. What kind of wood are they using? Is it solid or laminated? Like anything else, there are different levels of quality in every material, and it really depends on your budget and how much you care about the materials. The way you posted it, the Thuma has a center beam and one support leg. You can always buy extra center support legs on Amazon, but keep in mind there are a bunch of factors that affect the overall support. Is your floor level? Are the slats all the same rigidity? Are you on carpet or hardwood? Some of these things are minor, others can make a pretty significant difference.

I remember visiting @EuropeanSleep, and a lot of their bed frames and foundations were built with real wood by custom furniture makers. What surprised me was that some of them were noticeably more solid and better built than the more heavily marketed Thuma frames, and in some cases they were actually priced less than Thuma’s higher-end options. These things were so solid you could practically park a car on the slats. It really drives home the point that specs on paper only tell part of the story. Build quality, materials, and attention to detail matter just as much, if not more.

Thuma makes a good product for its price range and category, but it’s not perfect, and there are issues you’ll see come up repeatedly if you read enough online reviews. That’s not a knock so much as a reminder to go in with your eyes open. I personally have three budget Japanese joinery full-size bed frames that I use in my mattress test room at home, and they work fine for that purpose. That said, I’m not convinced I’d want one under my master bedroom mattress. Once you put a beautiful, expensive mattress on a frame or foundation, the last thing you want in the back of your mind is whether that support system could be contributing to any problem that shows up later.

Just my perspective on this.

Maverick

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@EuropeanSleep - Thanks for the input. I was not familiar with your site. Upon checking it out, you seem to have several nice-looking beds made from wood. I am interested in a buy-it-for-life type of bed, thus moving away from stores at the mall, so to speak (i.e. west elm, Crate & Barrel, RH), despite liking their style.

Can you tell me if any of your beds would meet my needs? We prefer:
*all wood (no fabric, no leather, no rattan, etc.)
*platform height of 14-16" (or combination height of frame + foundation of same)
*headboard tall enough to be viewable with pillows on the bed
*and of course, support/foundation that meets the needs described in this thread by Maverick, above.

I see:
*Gat Creek Mitchel Platform bed in cherry or ash natural - look great, but unsure about headboard height and foundation?
*Maple Corner Woodworks Harmony bed in maple - same questions as above
*Maple Corner Woodworks Canterbury Panel bed with low footboard that seems like it meets the list above, but I don’t have any idea what makes up the foundation. Can you elaborate?

Also, I have no concept of pricing of these beds in queen. We prefer to stay under $3k for the bed (frame/foundation), with less being great (of course). :wink:

ETA: I am happy to buy a separate foundation as needed, just prefer the measurements to fit as above.

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Thanks for taking a look! I actually think Crate, and RH are usually good options, although with C&B it’s more of a case by case issue, because they have different manufacturers. West Elm used to be ok, but lately have been more of a problem. Pottery Barn is usually a bit better. The Gat Creek, and MCW frames use hardwood slats, are intended for mattress only, and are as sturdy as it gets. Our frames have quite a range in price, starting around 2k and going as high as 7-8k. However, we don’t ship frames, where are you located?

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Feel free to give me a call as well. The number in the profile is good. :slight_smile:

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Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. It had not even occurred to me to consider shipping - holiday haze, I guess. I am in Portland, OR. I think that’s out of the neighborhood. Gives me some manufacturers to look into, though!

I was also interested to hear your thoughts on the big-box store beds. I assumed they were just all a no-go. I will have to look more closely. I suppose if I’m putting a quality foundation under the mattress, there’s more flexibility. I’d assume their slats are more plywood/cheaper quality. We had two west elm beds that we liked years ago, but I have read about more problematic experiences online of late.

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Portland should have some good options. There’s a store called Plank and Coil that sells Maple Corner Woodworks (although MCW beds are mostly over 3k+). Also, I really think that buying a good bed frame and then having a handy person redo the slats is a viable option. Room and Board has great frames, but lousy slats (the metal ones are terrible–they may have a few beds with good ones, it’s hard to keep track of). Like I said, C&B is case by case, West Elm is seemingly on the decline. RH is usually good, but you pay for it. I think the best thing to do is to look under the bed frame while someone gets on and moves around. You should be able to see if the slats are sagging. Hope that helps, and feel free to call anytime!

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Welcome back to the forum! It is great to see a returning member.

Reading through your history, the progression of your back pain makes perfect sense structurally. You went from a supportive latex mattress (which you loved) to a Tuft & Needle Mint. While the Mint can be comfortable initially, at 279 lbs, a standard all-foam memory foam mattress simply lacks the density and structural push-back required to maintain your alignment over time. Those “divots” you can’t see but definitely feel are the foam materials softening and losing their resiliency, leading to the lack of support that is causing your lower back pain and hip pressure.

Given your stats, your history of loving latex (which is supportive), and your current need for pressure relief for side sleeping without the “sag,” I strongly recommend looking at the Back Science Series 2 Hybrid.

Here is why this specific mattress fits your situation perfectly, especially considering your weight loss journey:

  1. Adaptability for Weight Change (Crucial for You): You mentioned you are down to 279 lbs and moving down further. Congratulations on that progress! However, this presents a challenge: the mattress firmness you need now at 279 lbs will likely be different from what you need when you reach your goal weight.
  • The Solution: Our GripLock Modular Cover System. Unlike a standard mattress (like Avocado or Big Fig) where you are stuck with the feel you buy, the Back Science mattress allows you to unzip the top and swap out the comfort layers. If your needs change as you lose weight, we can simply send you a different layer adjustment rather than you having to buy a whole new bed.
  1. Lumbar-Flex Zoned Support: At 279 lbs, preventing the “hammock effect” is the #1 priority for your back pain. Our patent-pending zoning reinforces the center third of the mattress. It actively lifts your hips to keep your spine neutral (essential for both back and side sleeping) while still allowing your shoulder to sink in to relieve that pressure you’re feeling.
  2. Durability & Materials: You mentioned being wary of “gel/plastic.” We use high-density Hypergel foam (which feels more buoyant like latex but without the hard “pushback” that can sometimes cause hip pain on firm latex beds) and a heavy-duty coil system. This is built to handle higher weights without the premature breakdown you experienced with the Mint.

Regarding the Bed Frame: You asked about the Carolina Leg Co Upton bed with 3.13" slats. For a sleeper of your weight and a heavy hybrid mattress, 3.13" isn’t too bad, but it can be just a bit on the wider side for slat spacing, but more importantly, the slats themselves may not be robust enough. The best way to tell is to just sit on the slats itself in different areas and see if it feels like a perfectly firm and flat table-top, since if it does not, it is not likely supportive enough.

  • My Advice: If you love that frame, I would highly recommend adding a solid Bunkie Board or platform layer on top of those slats that uses plank type wood with no gaps as its frame structure. This creates a solid, uniform surface that ensures your warranty remains valid and your mattress support system performs exactly as designed.

I believe the Series 2 Hybrid gives you the durability of the “Big Fig” style beds but with the comfort and modularity you need for your changing physiology.

Feel free to check us out at www.BackScience.com. If you want to discuss your specific alignment needs or the modular system, please give us a call at 800 667-1969 and I would be happy to go over this all in more detail.

As a returning TMU member, don’t forget to use the code TMU10 at checkout for an additional 10% off.

Dr. Rick Swartzburg, D.C. Founder and Head of Product Design

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