Suggestion for side sleeper who's tried so many mattresses

Hi I’ve been a frequent lurker here, reading various reviews, suggestions, and guides throughout the site. Through the past six months, I’ve tried a handful of mattresses and all have failed to deliver a good night’s sleep over their trial periods. Let me lay out my situation:

  1. Male, 185lbs, 5’11", Approx 25.8 BMI
    Primarily side sleeper but go to stomach when shoulders hurt and often wake up on my back (presumably because shoulders hurt while sleeping)

2. Female 115lbs, 5’3", Approx 20.4 BMI
Primarily back sleeper, but can be on shoulders too

Over our mattress journey we’ve tried and had the following experiences:

  1. Sleep science, though unsure of model. It was a warehouse leftover, but very firm. This killed my shoulders and also developed some severe valleys after about a year. Myself and my wife disliked this.
  2. Sealy from Costco, though unsure of the model. Developed severe valleys after about two months. I hated this mattress, but my wife liked it.
    — This is when I began researching and found TMU —
  3. Flexus latex mattress This was a soft, medium, firm configuration, and while it felt comfortable on my back, it really hurt on my side. Tried soft, medium, medium but this didn’t alleviate my side pain and just led to more pain on my stomach. Wife was OK with this, but preferred the previous sealy.
  4. Brooklyn Aurora Mattress (Soft). This was the worst mattress we tried. After the previous flexus latex pain in my shoulders, I think I swung the pendulum too far and went with this soft mattress. This was unbearable after night two for both myself and my wife. The slippery top didn’t help, but the pain we both experienced made us table the bed after one week and wait for the 30 days to return it.
  5. Helix Midnight Luxe. This is what we have now, and for the first several weeks it was really really nice. I finally slept through the night and thought this might be the one. My wife had a harder break in period with it than me, but ultimately we both found it comfortable. However after about 30 days, very noticeable valleys developed under both of us, and now my shoulders hurt every night.

Do you have any suggestions based on the above info and experience for us? We’re both exhausted from this journey and just want to have a mattress that works. At this point, I think the medium mattress is where we want to be (based on our experience with the Helix Midnight Luxe), but wondering if there’s a density problem with the Helix that caused the valleys. If that hypothesis is correct, then are there any similar mattresses with better quality and/or better densities that you might know of?

Thanks a lot.

Hi moga, welcome to The Mattress Underground :slight_smile:

Sorry to hear you’ve so many “failures” in finding a suitable mattress. Good to hear that you have read “various reviews and guides” here on TMU …just in case you missed any of those…the best articles when Mattress shopping are: theMattress Shopping Tutorial, Mattress Specifications You Need To Knowand the Mattress Durability Guidelines The guides in these readings prompt consumers to find out the quality and specs of each of the components in the mattress which is the best safeguard in buying a mattress that does not develop any “valleys” down the road and it does not change the initial comfort/support experience over time. Mandy of the mattresses you tried in the last 6 months are rasing quite a few red flags in terms of quality of the components.

In addition to this, remember that a mattress is unique to you based on your stats(height, BMI, sleeping position(s) and any underlying health conditions) - thanks for providing these - and PPP(Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences). Since you are a combo side/stomach and occasional back sleeper and your partner is a back sleeper, and having lower BMIs your task may be a bit more difficult to deal with than someone who sleeps in one position since the different positions have different basic requirements. You can read about this In This Article on stats and sleeping position. As Phoenix says:
" You can find much of the relevant information you would need in the sections about sleeping style, preferences, and statistics along withputting the layers together and the page on tips and tricks here ) that can give you some general concepts, guidelines, and insights about the effects of different body types, sleeping styles, and mattress designs for different people but this is only generic and not specific to any particular person so you would need to adapt them to your particular body type, sleeping positions, and circumstances. (May be more complex than you really need to know.)"

Your experience with the (14") Helix Midnight luxe is not uncommon. Also, at your low BMI’s you don’t really need such a thick mattress. This may complicate things a bit as every layer affects all other layers and you might have too many variables to take into consideration. this mattress is comprised of memory foam, gel foam and polyfoam. Memory foam by its nature conforms to a sleepers’ body but can also wear prematurely, as you have seen, causing ‘valleys’ or ‘divots’ which can cause aches, joint and muscle pain and even alignment issues.
You can read several forum discussions on the Helix Midnight Luxe here More recently though (9 months ago) there were some consumers complaining about indentations after 2 weeks of use of Helix Midnight Luxe and you’d want to check that they did not change the foam densities and that each component meets the durability guidelines mentioned above. See post ##1 here as well. As a side sleeper, you definitely want a durable and comfortable support layer on whichever mattress you decide to go with. something using good “firm” support with enough comfort materials on top that are adequate to allow for conformation of your hips and shoulders tends to work well for a combo side/prone sleeper.

The Aurora is also a foam mattress, as is the Sealy and likely the Sleep Science. I would say this is a mattress type you can cross off your list. Since most of the major retailers are less than transparent regarding the exact specifications for their products, and using a less expensive, lower density foam could show wear very quickly as you‘ve experienced

Since every individual has their own specific needs in a sleep system, we don’t really make suggestions, but I will say that since you’ve already invested time ordering, testing and returning mattresses, it would be ideal if you can could go to some local showrooms, and test different mattress builds types - like an all latex, foam, latex hybrid with different comfort levels in the layers, etc. to see what you both prefer. You may have just not found the correct combined latex ‘feel’, or you might more prefer a hybrid with latex, coil layer and possibly a quality foam that meets the durability guidelines linked above - I wouldn’t try any mattress for which you can’t find the specifications you need to know to ensure they meet the durability guidelines. … this will help you ‘cross off’ any mattress types you definitely want to avoid, thereby shortening your list.

Once you have determined a type of mattress and mutually approved comfort level, any of the Trusted Members of the site can help you to choose a mattress if you provide them with a little info about you and your partners’ history with mattresses and your preferences, as they will be likely familiar with the other mattresses you have tried and can help you ‘zero in’ on a mattress which will be suitable for you both, and have generous exchange/return policies if you need to ‘tweak’ your build. You can submit a body profile for Trusted Member Custom Sleep Technology for one example.

I wish you Success on your new mattress journey!

~ Basilio

Im 5ft 11in, 225 pounds, 80% back sleeper, 20% side sleeper. Wife, 5ft, 1in. 110 pounds, side sleeper.

Ive checked a lot of mattresses including Flexus. I did try mattresses for back and side sleeper.

I tried Aireloom Preferred Luxetop M1 and M2 (firm and plush), i liked M1 Firm myself and on verge of buying it for my back sleeping. For you, Id look into M2 Firm and plush and Plush plus. Aireloom has a mattress pad that can go with any of their mattresses. M1 has 1 row of microcoils and M2 has 2 rows. Firm anf plush refers to innercoil.

I like Tempurpedic Luxe Adapt Firm. Seems great for back and side sleeping, but check out the whole line!!!

Check out Air Pedic air mattress. 3 zones for adjustment vs 1 for Sleep Number. Air Pedic 1000 has 7 in of memory foam on too of bladder where Air Pedic 500 has 3 in. Overall, thicker memory foam is better for side sleepers.

Id go w Aireloom M2 firm or plush or Temourpedic, but let me know what you pick!!

Just curious if you ever found a mattress that worked. My husband and I have tried 7 mattresses since January 2022. He is 5’9", 225 lbs, and I am 5’1", 105 lbs. We are both pretty physically fit, especially for our ages (57 and 55). My husband has no issues sleeping on anything. I am primarily a side or back sleeper. I am the problem apparently. Did not have any back pain at all prior to getting a new bed. I have have lower and middle back issues, and hip pain since trying these new mattresses. Also shoulder pain if I am on a too firm mattress. Have tried:
Tempurpedic Pro-Breeze Hybrid medium - hard as a rock and cold
Beautyrest Jennings Ultra Plush - marshmallow (this is where the back pain started)
Serta iSeries 3000 medium hybrid - defective. Mattresses slanted down from right to left if you looked at it head on from foot of bed. No lower back support.
Stearns and Foster Cassat Plush - I felt no support in my hips and mid back after sleeping on this for several weeks. Felt like my back was in ‘C’ shape if on back or side.
Tempurpedic Pro-Adapt medium all foam - too hard
Aireloom Preferred Streamline Luxury Firm - Could actually sleep on this one, however it was a bit hard for me at first. After wearing it in for 2 months, lower back pain started and some shoulder pain.
Aireloom Preferred Streamline Plush M1 - This bed was great for a month. Still had some small bit of lower back discomfort. After a month lower back pain set in again. Have resorted to various things like putting a folded towel under my hips. Some nights this helps, some not. Still struggling.

Anyone have suggestions for a PETITE sleeper???

Hi Lbrooksie123,

My husband and I have tried 7 mattresses since January 2022. He is 5’9", 225 lbs, and I am 5’1", 105 lbs. We are both pretty physically fit, especially for our ages (57 and 55). My husband has no issues sleeping on anything. I am primarily a side or back sleeper. I am the problem apparently. Did not have any back pain at all prior to getting a new bed. I have have lower and middle back issues, and hip pain since trying these new mattresses. Also shoulder pain if I am on a too firm mattress.

Thank you for providing you and your husbands specifications, and for sharing your 7 different mattress experiences! I don’t imagine that was an easy task and my hat goes off to you for maintaining your sanity! I hope that discovering this forum will help you to find the solution you are looking for!

Tempurpedic Pro-Breeze Hybrid medium - hard as a rock and cold
Beautyrest Jennings Ultra Plush - marshmallow (this is where the back pain started)
Serta iSeries 3000 medium hybrid - defective. Mattresses slanted down from right to left if you looked at it head on from foot of bed. No lower back support.
Stearns and Foster Cassat Plush - I felt no support in my hips and mid back after sleeping on this for several weeks. Felt like my back was in ‘C’ shape if on back or side.
Tempurpedic Pro-Adapt medium all foam - too hard
Aireloom Preferred Streamline Luxury Firm - Could actually sleep on this one, however it was a bit hard for me at first. After wearing it in for 2 months, lower back pain started and some shoulder pain.
Aireloom Preferred Streamline Plush M1 - This bed was great for a month. Still had some small bit of lower back discomfort. After a month lower back pain set in again. Have resorted to various things like putting a folded towel under my hips. Some nights this helps, some not. Still struggling.

Many of the mattresses you’ve tried were either memory foam, or spring. Have you tried latex before? There is a lot of information on this forum about latex and its superior support. Many of the options can be customized on the left and right side of the mattress so that you and your husband don’t have to have the same firmness. Given your differences, I think this would benefit you both. Plus, none of the layers are glued together so that you can rearrange, swap or flip while you figure out which configuration best suites your sleep style. Depending on your location, there are many experts here that can help!

Anyone have suggestions for a PETITE sleeper???

As you’ve experienced and maybe read about on this forum, finding the perfect balance of firmness and softness can be a challenge for many!
When speaking directly towards mattresses, hip and shoulder pain or pressure can be an indication that it’s too firm and consistent lower or middle back pain can indication it’s too soft. Age, size, body shape, sleep position, posture, preference…and of course so many other aspects can directly impact our bodies and especially our sleep. I wish there was a simple recommendation that I had for petite sleepers, but I think the best thing to do would be to visit a local mattress store that has a selection of latex options, along with the normal memory/spring so that you can do a proper comparison.

I would love to share some other tips for side sleepers: :zzz:

Incorporating a body pillow between your legs when laying on your side is a great way to support your hips and shoulders. You can either use two Queen sizes, one to hug and one between your knees/ankles, or a King size might reach! And when laying on your back, you can incorporate it under your knees to relieve pressure from your lower back.

Also, how is the platform bed or the mattress support holding up. We see this far too often, beds that are manufactured with flexible slats that sag below flat creating a hammock. Or slats that are widely spread that pose a similar concern. The most ideal surface to support a mattress is something solid, with a center support for extra stability. To test it: look under the bed when someone is laying down or press down using your hands and see if there is movement.

I hope these comments and suggestions can help you get closer to your dream sleep!