Visited Quality Sleep Shop in La Grange, IL & Need Help w/ My Soft Bed Search

[phoenix]

Hi aboutabed10,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum!

Background on me: I really like soft beds. If I go to the big names - I’d always end up on a plush bed. I ended up with a bed made by a hotel that was problematic in many ways (after 2 months) so I found this forum in my research. The same hotel sold me a bed 5 years ago that I loved, but it started sinking in around year 3, and then I bought another bed from them because I loved that bed too much to care it would go defective at year 3 (but this one went defective at month 2!) I am a glutton for punishment, I guess.

Unfortunately, you were probably purchasing something using lower density polyfoams, which would be common with mattresses sold by or produced for the hospitality industry.

Anyway, The Quality Sleep Shop has a good variety of beds, but I’d say they are all Medium to Firm. The Green beds were also pretty comfortable, but in that same medium - firm range.

Plushness perception is very subjective, and just as you may consider the beds at a particular business or manufacturer not “plush enough”, there are others who may consider the same models “too plush”. “Softness” has different meanings to different people and there are different “species” of softness (for lack of a better description). Post #4 here talks a little more about this. Different people will be more or less sensitive to either the “feel” of softness, the pressure relief softness, the support softness, or the “overall” softness of a mattress and each of these may be talking about very different things when they talk about the softness of a mattress.

There are also no “standard” definitions or consensus of opinions for firmness ratings and different manufacturers can rate their mattresses very differently than others so a mattress that one manufacturer rates as being a specific firmness could be rated very differently by another manufacturer. Different people can also have very different perceptions of firmness and softness compared to others as well and a mattress that feels firm for one person can feel like “medium” for someone else or even “soft” for someone else (or vice versa) depending on their body type, sleeping style, physiology, their frame of reference based on what they are used to, and their individual sensitivity and perceptions. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be sensitive to that can affect how they “rate” a mattress as well (see post #15 here) so different people can also have very different opinions on how two mattresses compare in terms of firmness and some people may rate one mattress as being firmer than another and someone else may rate them the other way around. This is all relative and very subjective and is as much an art as a science.

The only reliable way to know whether a mattress will be “firm enough” or “soft enough” for you will be based on your own careful testing or your own personal experience, and that’s why it was excellent that you were able to test out these products in person to see how they align with your personal preferences.

The owner was actually the one who was on the floor when I was there, and he makes the beds. So, he was probably the best person I could ever talk to about this stuff - and he knew about other stores as well. He explained that if they went anymore plush, he’d have break-down problems, and he is more concerned with customer satisfaction and longevity & does not want to risk it with some of the plush foams that are difficult to prevent from breaking in too much.

As you may be aware, I think highly of Tim at Quality Sleep Shop (they are a site member here) and the advice he provides. I am happy that he was able to explain to you the reasons for their designs and what they are comfortable producing, as opposed to trying to sell you on a particular product. Having the heart of a teacher is one of the things that tend to set apart better retailers and our site manufacturing members.

The other thing about their beds is that they put more coils in the middle - horizontally where your body’s core is basically. So, this area is more supported. Most people do not notice this, and a lot of people like it because of the support. I remember the big names doing this 10+ years ago, and I had to go to several stores to find beds without it. I can’t get comfortable on a bed that has this kind of coil arrangement. I am a stomach sleeper, so it feels like it’s pushing on me and arching my lower back. When I was on my back - it actually was more comfortable than normal beds because it fills in the lumbar area subtly.

This is another good example of the individual variability in mattress comfort preference. Prone sleepers usually respond better to bother firmer deep support as well as firmer upper comfort layers, as to not accentuate the forward lordotic curvature of the lower thoracic and lumbar region. But your preference seems to be quite the opposite of that.

I don’t think a bed exists that is going to be soft enough for me to like - but not ultimately break down in the middle where I sleep. The mechanics of the foams seem to make this an impossibility, regardless of who is making the bed. It seems like I either have to compromise and sleep on something more firm - or I have to just accept buying a new bed every 2-3 years. Is that nuts?

Your opinion isn’t nuts , but sampling just a few mattresses and then deciding that there isn’t something available out of the tens of thousands of different models and styles in the industry that would be soft and durable enough for you would be an inaccurate assumption. There are increasing numbers of mattresses using higher density plush polyfoams in the upper layers, as well as latex, which would generally be your most durable plush material.

The crazy thing is that a $40 egg crate topper from Bed Bath & Beyond lasted a year with not a single indentation anywhere…so what is wrong with the big named bed companies exactly?

While your topper may not be showing an indentation, being a lower density polyfoam (which it most likely is) it certainly will have lost resiliency and support factor in the area where it is used.

And as for the “big named bed companies”, the major brands such as Sealy/Stearns & Foster, Simmons, and Serta all tend to use lower quality and less durable materials in their mattresses than most of their smaller competitors that will tend to soften or break down prematurely relative to the price you pay which is why I would generally suggest avoiding all of them completely (along with the major retailers that focus on them as well) regardless of how they may feel in a showroom along with any mattress where you aren’t able to find out the type and quality/durability of the materials inside it (see the guidelines here along with post #3 here and post #12 here and post #404 here).

How on earth is Bed Bath & Beyond selling more reliable foam?

I don’t know that they are (of course they certainly may be offering a polyfoam using a higher density), but I also don’t know that your assessment of the durability of the topper would be completely accurate as well. Assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out the information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.

One alternative I thought of was to get a bed that is medium/firm and just put that egg crate topper on it. It’s comfortable… just seems a bit crazy that I can’t simply find a bed.

While I generally don’t recommend seeking a topper together with a new mattress (as it further complicates the buying process, introducing extra variables), some people to prefer this, with Talalay latex being a very popular choice for a durable plush material. There is more information about choosing a topper in post #2 here and the topper guidelines it links to.

I don’t like the hybrids or memory foam beds due to the heat.

Simply being a “hybrid” mattress isn’t necessarily an indicator of the “warmth” of a mattress. The materials, layers, and components of a sleeping system that are closer to your skin will have a bigger effect on airflow, moisture transport, and temperature regulation than materials, layers, and components that are further away from your skin and softer mattresses or foam toppers will tend to be more “insulating” and for some people can sleep warmer than firmer versions of the same material. Overall, it’s not really possible to quantify the sleeping temperature of a mattress for any particular person with any real accuracy because there are so many variables involved including the type of mattress protector and the sheets and bedding that you use (which in many cases can have just as significant an effect on sleeping temperature as the type of foam in a mattress) and on where you are in the “oven to iceberg” range and because there is no standardized testing for temperature regulation with different combinations of materials … there is more about the many variables that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress or sleeping system in post #2 here that can help you choose the types of materials and components that are most likely to keep you in a comfortable temperature range.

I heard many of them (especially the softer ones) also break down too much wherever you sleep, so it’s not really an answer either.

This would mostly be a function of the density of the materials used within the product (see the article I linked to earlier regarding durability guidelines). There are good and bad quality memory foam and “hybrid” mattresses available, but unfortunately it seems like too many mattresses in general are using lower-density foams these days, which is one of the reasons it’s so important for you to learn about the componentry within any mattress you’re considering.

To help guide you through your mattress selection process, the first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).

In its simplest form … choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to FIRST finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers (either locally or online) that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in that are in a budget range you are comfortable with and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then:

1. Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice. It seems that testing something locally might be your best option, as you definitely seem to prefer a very plush style of mattress.

2. Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress you are considering relative to your weight/BMI range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.

3. Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

Phoenix