soft mattress for 100lbs person, does it exist?

Basically everything feels like a brick to me. Thick toppers just make me hot at night and uncomfortable (have tried memory foam, gel foam, latex) and I can still feel the firm mattress pushing up beneath them.

Currently sleeping on a Lu-xi and it does not work at all. The medium side is like a brick wall and the soft side pushes into my back at night. I can feel each of the little square foam bits they say are soft. The mattress also dips into the middle of the bed. There is nothing wrong with my bed or foundation, this is the only mattress that has dipped in the middle. I am returning it as soon as they get back to me about it.

Most memory foam mattresses work for people 125lbs or ideally 150lbs and over. Those of us under say 110 lbs may not sink down even into the softest foam and may not enjoy all the plush benefits of low ild latex. The lowest ild latex still is stiff and unresponsive to me.

Because of this I get no sleep at night. I start off on my side and end up on my back. I am a back and side sleeper. Every soft mattress I have tried hurts my shoulder while on my side. I have recently tried the Lu-xi with a memory foam topper and a latex topper, neither work for me. The latex topper is too firm and the memory foam toppers I have tried (many) make me sleep too hot or I feel the stiff bed under them. Feeling like the princess and the pea here.

I am considering the Novosbed soft but I hear from some other small framed people that they find it too firm still or the Nest Alexander soft but I do not hear good things about their return policy.

Is there anyone else out there who has low bmi (under 18) and is possibly under 110 lbs and can relate? I am 5’4 and 100lbs. I can’t sleep any more due to being uncomfortable everywhere.

My partner is larger than I am within the normal range of bmi. Previously I was sleeping on a generic soft/medium memory foam mattress that was also uncomfortable.

At this point should I be considering building my own mattress? I previously considered buying a Reverie system but since they did away with their return policy I can’t take the chance.

Any advice is appreciated. My local mattress stores (small town) don’t have much in the way of plush beds so things there always seem too firm to me. Online is my only real option.

I can’t speak for what bed is right for you but it has been my experience that nest bedding makes returns pretty easy. They even had my return picked up because mattress donations are not allowed where I live. It was painless and their customer service is excellent. Their return policy is posted on their webpage and if you still have questions you can email or call them.

Hi lowbmi,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! :slight_smile:

I’m sorry you’re having difficulty finding something that is plush enough for you. A topper itself can only do so much in changing comfort, as it works in toto with all of the layers in the sleep system, and if the componentry beneath it wasn’t close enough to your comfort preference to begin with, and you are very specific in the plushness you desire, it’s unlikely a topper itself would provide you enough relief.

As for temperature issues, the materials, layers, and components of a sleeping system that are closer to your skin will have a bigger effect on airflow, moisture transport, and temperature regulation than materials, layers, and components that are further away from your skin and softer mattresses or foam toppers will tend to be more “insulating” and for some people can sleep warmer than firmer versions of the same material. There is more about the many variables that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress or sleeping system in post #2 here. All foams are insulators to some extent, and a softer mattress that you sink “into” more that sleep “upon” can also sleep warmer, regardless of the materials used.

I’m sorry your Luxi isn’t working out for your personal comfort preference. I’m not sure why the mattress would “dip” in the center, unless you had a split configuration and the top layers are not pressed into each other solidly within the encasement. While you say there is “nothing wrong” with you foundation or bed, I am curious what you are using for both.

While “simplified choice” mattresses are designed to work for the broadest range of the sleep spectrum, it wouldn’t be correct to make a blanket statement about ideally what “most” memory foam mattresses work for, as there are plenty of high and low BMI individuals who enjoy memory foam mattresses, as long as the componentry is of adequate density/quality, as the selection of a mattress has a large personal subjective preference to it.

All the layers of a mattress work together, and someone at 100 pounds certainly would “sink down” into 14 ILD Talalay latex, but whether or not this would be to your personal preference of course would depend upon the other layers of the mattress as well and your own tolerance for plushness. Latex will be the most resilient (“bouncy” or buoyant) foam, but you would notice more of that with the higher density/firmer latex layers than with the softer layers, but it would still be superior to polyfoam or memory foam.

Yes, I understand it can be frustrating with certain somatotypes/BMIs/comfort preferences to find something that works. While not normally the first recommendation I make, zoning systems of various types can sometimes be useful and worth considering for people that have more difficulty finding a mattress with the right “balance” between comfort/pressure relief (under the shoulders especially) and support/alignment (under the hips/pelvis especially) or who have more challenging circumstances or sensitivities, body types that are more difficult to “match” to a mattress, more complex medical issues, or who have a history of having more difficulty in finding a mattress that works well for them. There is more about zoning in this article, in post #11 here, post #2 here, and post #7 here and the additional posts they link to but once again the only way to know whether any specific mattress (zoned or otherwise) will be a good “match” for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) will be based on your own careful testing and/or your own personal experience. Site member Flobeds has a unique V-Zone system and they are very experienced in assisting people who have a difficult time finding a comfortable mattress. They may be worth a phone call.

When you can’t test a mattress in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and “feel” of the materials they are using (fast or slow response, resilience, firmness etc.) and the options they have available that may be the best “match” for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs, options, and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.

I wouldn’t place too much stock in other people’s opinions of what might be “soft enough” for you, as you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and I would be cautious about using anyone else’s suggestions, experiences or reviews on a specific mattress (either positive or negative) or review sites in general as a reliable source of information or guidance about how you will feel on the same mattress or how suitable or how durable a mattress may be for you. In many if not most cases they can be more misleading than helpful because a mattress that would be a perfect choice for one person or even a larger group of people in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on (even if they are in a similar weight range). In other words … reviews or other people’s experiences in general won’t tell you much if anything about the suitability, quality, durability, or “value” of a mattress for any particular person (see post #13 here). And as far as returning, I’d place the same amount of stock in those opinions, as most online manufacturers are asking that you donate their product as opposed to returning it if a refund is authorized, and as Ari commented previously, Nest, like most other companies, will work with you to help with a pick up if you can’t find a donation center in your area. I’ve not run across wide-spread issues with returns from Nest Bedding or most of the other major “simplified choice” manufacturers here on the forum or in my discussions off of the forum.

As you may be attracted to the idea of designing and building your own DIY mattress out of separate components, then the first place I would start is by reading option 3 in post #15 here and the posts it links to (and option #1 and #2 as well) so that you have more realistic expectations and that you are comfortable with the learning curve, uncertainty, trial and error, or in some cases the higher costs that may be involved in the DIY process. While it can certainly be a rewarding project, the best approach to a DIY mattress is a “spirit of adventure” where what you learn and the satisfaction that comes from the process itself is more important than any cost savings you may realize (which may or may not happen).

Unfortunately, I can’t feel what you feel and I can only help with “how” to select a mattress, not “what” to choose. There are simply too many personal variables involved that make it too difficult to accurately select a mattress for someone else. There is no algorithm that could possibly take into account the personal unknowns, individual body types, sleeping styles, personal preferences, somatotypes, health issues, differing masses, levels of fitness and flexibility, etc. Researchers have tried, but it’s just not possible. Post #15 here does talk a bit more about softness, pressure relief and alignment and how they relate and can be perceived differently by various individuals.

Overall, regardless of BMI, I’ll always recommend that you start out be reading through the mattress shopping tutorial here. Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

Assuming that the materials in a mattress you are considering are durable enough for your body type and meet the quality/durability guidelines here relative to your weight range … the choice between different types and combinations of materials and components or different types of mattresses are more of a preference and a budget choice than a “better/worse” choice ( see this article ). The best way to know which type of materials or which type of mattresses you tend to prefer in general terms will be based on your own testing and personal experience because different people can have very different preferences.

As far as appropriateness, I wouldn’t be able to predict if one combination versus another would allow enough of a comfort cradle for you while still be able to provide adequate support, or if using a polyfoam support core would be personally preferable to a latex or innerspring unit. That information can only be accomplished through your own personal testing. Lighter body types tend to do well with softer foams (in comfort layers and support layers) and what feels firm for a lighter body type can feel soft for someone who is heavier. Each person will also sink into the mattress differently depending on their weight distribution and body shape (where they carry most of their weight and the “curviness” of their body)

If you do decide to look online, then you may wish to use the experience and expertise of the members listed in post #21 here who are all very experienced and knowledgeable and specialize in providing the type of help and guidance on the phone that can help you make good choices, even for someone with a lower BMI. There are a wide range of latex and memory foam and other options included in the choices there and I believe that all of them compete well with the best in the industry in terms of their quality, value, service, and transparency.

I know that’s a lot of information to process, but you made quite a few statements and brought up many questions, and I wanted to take the time to address them as best I can.


Thanks for the welcome and the reply, I will try to address the items below. I do apologize if my original post was not welcoming but not having a sound nights sleep in months will do that to a person.

I have noticed this but unfortunately I am a person who already sleeps hot so adding these things makes it worse for me.

The Luxi only comes in split configuration as far as I know. The one I received has dipped in the center from the start with any configuration (med/soft or soft/soft or med/med) but the dip is more noticeable if both sides are set to soft. I suspect it is due to the way the soft side is made with the columns of foam, the outer edges have the firm support so the sleeper does not roll off the edge easily but this makes the one I received slant towards the middle of the bed from both sides.
Currently a bed frame made of oak that is kind of platform style but accepts slats or boxspring and have tried using 2 different sets of slats one full bed size (they go over the center support) and one lonset ikea (neither bowed nor aged), tried a bunkie board, and have tried it directly on a floor that has been checked for level (dip still noticeable) as well as a low profile box spring (zinus most recently). The bed itself is level and sturdy.

Apologies for this rather broad statement, I was told by multiple mattress customer service agents when shopping around that their mattresses work better for people over 125 or 150 lbs. I did bring up bmi but most of them did not want to speak of it leading me to think they were just using a script and so I shouldn’t take anything they say as gospel.

Sorry for butchering the quote but I have to say I have currently a 2" queen sized piece of talalay latex that is supposedly 14ild (I have no way of proving this but was told it was 13/14 and the softest available) and I do not sink down into it at all and just float on top. It feels stiff when lying on my back or side which is how I sleep. Similar ild dunlop was the same and I still found myself floating on top and the latex pushing back on my shoulder and hip while laying on my side is very uncomfortable. I really wanted to go all latex but I can’t find any top layers of latex that are soft enough for me to feel pressure relief.

Thank you for the interesting zoning info, I had read up on that previously but this is some great information to learn. I did consider Flobeds but after seeing their soft latex was 22 ild I figured it wouldn’t work well for me since the 14ild still had me floating on top with an achy body in the morning. Initially I did email them regarding this and I am not sure I ever heard back, there is nothing in my inbox. However, I did consider this could be due to the other mattress innards I tried with the latex but without some guidance I was only guessing.

I agree with this mostly. However I did find some other reviews from women of my same height/weight that had similar experiences with some of the mattresses I have tried so figured if I could find someone with the same height/weight range and bmi maybe it would at least get me closer to finding what I need. A pipe dream perhaps so you are likely correct.

Thank you so much for all of the information. Some of these mattress businesses I have already contacted and some I have only considered and not contacted. Some businesses straight up told me their mattresses will not work for my height/weight so at least that saved me some time.

But I’m still here getting no decent sleep and waking up in pain every morning. I did initially consider Reverie but not being able to try their mattress and now that they got rid of the return policy I am not willing to spend $3k on a mattress that may not work for my partner and I and that I will then be stuck with.

I wish there was an easy answer but this seems to just get more complicated. Right now I am sleeping on the Luxi soft side (sbt) layer and waking up multiple times in the night so very sore and feeling almost bruised. The lack of decent sleep is really impeding on the rest of my life.

I have called, emailed, and chatted with quite a few mattress businesses as stated above and most of these folks seem to be following some kind of script. Ended up considering the Nest and Novosbed but still confused and now I have thrown the Tuck mattress into the mix but they are so new it’s hard to know. I did initially consider the Nest hybrid as well wondering if the coils would work better for me with latex but it seemed not plush enough from their chart.

Ideally I would love all latex as I like the idea of using (mostly) natural latex instead of foam but after trying multiple “soft” and “plush” latex toppers and finding them hard (even when laid directly on a floor) I worry that an all latex mattress will in fact feel the same.

My partner also has pressure point issues and his bmi is more in the “normal” range and does find some comfort in certain latex or memory foam layers but not enough as he still wakes up with sore shoulders and hips (side sleeper) most of the time. I figured a dual comfort mattress could be great for us.

Hi lombmi,

You didn’t mention the size of the Luxi mattress you had (queen and kings are split, fulls and twins are not), so I wasn’t sure of your configuration.

Sounds good! Placing on the floor is the best way to check for dipping, which you already did.

Probably a good idea. Certain designs from particular companies may be for those specific ranges, and overall it is best to trust the advice from the manufacturer about the applicability of their products.

A 100 pound individual would not float on top of such a soft piece of Talalay, as that is a very plush material, and such a mass would definitely break through the surface tension. For example, if you were to lie down on a 2" layer of 14 ILD latex placed on the floor, you would compress it to its maximum in quite a few areas and feel much more of the floor (it goes from soft to maximum compressed firmness within the space of a 2" layer) but if you had the same softness of latex in a 6" layer on the floor … it would feel much softer and compress more gradually and to a lesser percentage of its overall thickness and wouldn’t reach the same level of firmness or “bottom out” (which means reaching the maximum level of compression or firmness that a layer or a mattress can effectively achieve). While I’m not there to witness your sleeping posture, and we may be “talking past each other” a bit with semantics, it would most likely be the layers underneath the 2" topper that are creating or at least largely contributing to the firmness that you don’t desire (assuming the latex topper layer you have is indeed 14 ILD).

If you are interesting in learning what they have to say, I would recommend a phone call. They are very knowledgeable and helpful and their softer zones can start at 19 ILD in the blended, plus everything is topped off with their very plush convoluted latex.

You can’t judge the comfort of a complete latex mattress by the comfort you felt using a single latex topper on top of another type of mattress. That can only be judged testing out an all-latex mattress in person, as all of the layers of a mattress work together to provide comfort.

You may be interested in this post I wrote a few years ago about someone trying to achieve “zero pressure”.


I did in fact try the 2" and 3" on the floor and was not compressing them to the floor, in fact hardly at all and it was still not relieving pressure but as you said, they are only 2-3". Tried again with someone watching, not compressed but also not completely hard as a brick.

You gave me a good idea. I placed both the 2 and 3" on top of each other and it was a little better. I keep them folded into quarters and I sat on one when it was still folded, no pressure!

Then I thought what if I double over each one to make sort of a twin sized 4 layer mat and that worked ok. So maybe it would work for me to have a fully latex mattress that has a very thick or double plush top layer and then medium and firm on the bottom.

I did email FloBeds earlier and I will reach out to the other fully latex companies. I’m not sure what thickness to go for at this point but I will continue my research there.

Thank you for your insight!

Hi lowbmi,

Good luck with your experimentation!


did you find something that works? if not, try a Naturepedic EOS with microcoils instead of latex. you can configure each side with different feels and components. you might like the the plush support coils underneath with the plush microcoils on top. very different type of support to any other mattress i’ve found, except possibly similar to the reverie you mentioned. because the innards of the mattress is all coils (zero foam) it slleps much cooler than any other mattress, excepth the maybe the memory foam ones with the creepy cooling gel. i love mine.

I’m in a very similar position.(I outweigh you by 6 lbs.) Some of the “best” beds recommended for side sleepers and pressure point relief are also like bricks to me. I bought the Nolah Evolution 15, but it’s a no-go for me. I’m looking at Helix Sunset or Moonlight or a Nest Sparrow. Saatva is a no-go for me as paying $99 to return on top of the $99 to return the Nolah is adding up quickly. Please do let me know if you find anything!